


Is it a Sin to Love You?

by LozisLaw



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempted Seduction, Crossdressing Kink, Depressed Stan Marsh, Flirting, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Rituals, Successful Seduction, Supernatural Elements, Underage Sex, freemium isn't free episode, kyle is an imp, satan is gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22317616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LozisLaw/pseuds/LozisLaw
Summary: Stan is given a mysterious talisman by Satan for offering his soul to take down the Canadian devil. Now Stan is 16, and the talisman is revealed to have a special purpose. That’s when things that happened 6 years ago start to come to light and reveal themselves to Stan as he struggles with the depression he suffered since he was 10.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Token Black/Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53





	1. Meet your master

It was when Stan was only 10 years old that he was given the mysterious talisman. At first it was a disappointing reward for doing something so against Christianity and everything he’d been raised on; he literally accepted Satan stealing his soul for fighting another demon over a freemium game. He was grounded for a month for gambling and being seduced by the devil into soul-trading, but at least Satan had the good will to leave him a reward for his sacrifice, a mysterious talisman. If you could call it a reward. Maybe it was because it didn’t do anything. No promise of superpowers, or warding off evil spirits, bragging rights or anything. Just a red stone encased in some sour smelling metal, engraved markings around the centre gemstone. Satan did leave him a note with the talisman, but it wasn’t instructions or anything straight forward like that, just a foreign word Stan didn’t understand, or Satan didn’t bother to explain. Fhtagn. Bullshit, in other words.

Now Stan is 16, his talisman was still hiding taped under his desk, along with the note that came with it from the seventh layer of hell where Satan spat him out once he was done with him. He could have thrown it out, it was pointless to keep, but for some reason he could never bring himself to get rid of it. Like why was he so vulnerable for Satan to manipulate in the first place? Was he just a useless item, good for something once, then rejected when the user was done with him? That’s what it felt like when he allowed himself to be used for that surely evil mission to take down beelzaboot. And what did he have to show for his sacrifice of a ticket into heaven? A useless charm, good for nothing rock that reminded him constantly how much he’d fucked up in life.

In some ways it had acted like a coping mechanism, an inanimate object somehow capable of making him feel better as he struggled through his twisted spouts of depression, all while making him feel worse. Lately it was the only thing that worked with his bipolar attitude, at least marginally. And that’s why every afternoon after school, Stan would collect the talisman from its hiding spot and just stare at it, pondering, wondering what its purpose is, and why Satan gave it to him, and what made him so special to have it out of all the other people in this world who could have understood it’s meaning more than he did.

It was one fateful afternoon that he found out.

The day wasn’t any different. Stan walked home from school like he usually did, he straight up into his room like he usually did. But this time, when he reached for the talisman and accompanying note, he felt more entranced with the note than the talisman itself. His daily ritual with the talisman was placing it on his bedroom floor, crossing his legs and just staring down at it, holding the note and watching for any activity, not a clue what to expect. He wasn’t even sure why he thought it would imbue any magical properties. Probably because it was from Satan, and he seemed like the king of magic and enchanted shit like that. Or maybe it was just a dumb rock that Satan gave to Stan to mess with him, because he knew Stan would have obsessed with it for 6 years like he has. The guy was the manifestation of evil, so that theory wasn’t far-fetched. Or maybe Stan was just overthinking this whole thing, and it didn’t matter in the end, because it was just a dumb rock, and it hadn’t changed his life at all. If Satan didn’t care enough to explain it to him, why should he care about it? He couldn’t answer that, he just felt… compelled. To keep up this weird afternoon ritual he’d created for himself and just hope. It was all he had left these days.

The phrase on the note was intriguing him more than usual. He sat cross-legged on the floor across from the talisman, holding the note and peering into the inky marks, trying to decipher it’s meaning. He tried looking it up before, but it wasn’t from any language. It’s like the word was just random letters shoved together, probably some kind of demon language. Fhtagn. It sounded impossible to say, like Stan would choke on his tongue before he got it right. He tried it anyway, just to see, and he was right. He couldn’t even finish the word before drabbling on some spit. It felt more whimsical the more he practised, just repeating the word and saying it in different ways to make it sound better. As it started out sounding like cats in a dishwasher, felt more melodic and mysterious. Stan had had enough of pondering for the day, so he got up and headed for the kitchen to get a snack. He suddenly realised as he was walking to the door that he could make the ‘t’ silent and it might make it easier to say, but when he said it aloud, a loud thunder erupted from the room.

Stan quickly turned and gasped in horror as the talisman shone and burst into flames, creating a large cloud of smoke that filled the air around it. From the smoke shone a beam of blinding light, and it dimmed to reveal an opening of pure fire. Stan was too terrified to consider its similarity to the entrance Satan first revealed himself from. The fire suddenly burnt out, leaving a small trail of flickering flames on the floor, but the opening had changed, now occupied by a human-like figure, but upon further observation, human’s weren’t known to have deep red horns on their head, or long flickering tails behind them, or burnt crimson bat’s wings. The brightness in the room slowly dimmed down, and Stan’s could make out the creature standing before him. It was no bigger than Stan, in height- unless the horns counted, and it looked exactly like a human besides from the extra features. Stan widened his eyes when he looked this thing in the face, and it smirked back at him, staring so intensely with its unnaturally bright green eyes. It had a full mop of curly red hair, splayed out on its head and around its horns. It’s face looked young, pale and lightly freckled in its cheeks. 

‘’Hello Stan,’’ the creature said.

Stan's jaw dropped.

The creature stepped out from the entrance, towards Stan as the flames vanished and the glowing entrance disappeared. The room looked the same, besides from the unexpected company. Stan stepped back as the creature moved towards him, clutching the note to his chest in fear. How did this thing know his name? The creature grinned, keeping unwavering focus on Stan. It was extremely unnerving.

‘’For fuck’s sake. It took you long enough to say that right!’’ The creature exclaimed, straightening it’s posture to a more relaxed position. Stan was utterly confused, and terrified of this thing, who had borne long fangs that revealed themselves when he spoke. 

‘’It seriously took you 6 years to figure it out. What the hell were you expecting to find staring at it for an hour every day?’’ The creature asked, chuckling, beaming at Stan. Stan was speechless.

‘’Oh man, it’s been too long in that shithole. I seriously need to stretch my legs. I feel like going for a run. Do you feel like running? We could run together, not that you really have a choice anymore. We’re bound together now; I can’t leave your side. But enough of that boring stuff. I’m starving! What have you got to eat around here? I would kill for some candy; man, you don’t realise how long it’s been since I’ve had candy. Like 800 years. I’m sure the candy has improved so much since then. I can’t wait, can we go get some now?’’ The creature asked, rambling manically as he pranced excitedly about the room.

‘’Woah, wait! Who are you? What are you? How the hell did you just come out of that talisman? What the fuck is going on!’’ Stan yelled, overwhelmed with the fast pace of speech this thing had, and freaked out by it moving about his room energetically. The creature sighed.

‘’Aww dude, do we really have to go on with this introduction bullshit? Let’s just go get some candy, come on man. I’ve seriously dying for it, see, I’ve talked myself into it now. Go get me some candy, and I’ll explain everything. I promise,’’ The creature said, holding its hand to its bare chest, and nodding it’s head.

‘’What the fuck? No! Tell me who the fuck you are! You nearly burnt down my room, and you’re saying you came from that,’’ Stan pointed the talisman, glowing softly beneath the creatures feet. 

‘’That’s my home asshole, and it’s cramped as fuck in there, so don’t be dissing. I’m sure you remember papa dearest handing that talisman to you when you so generously offered your soul for the good of mankind. So selfless of you, might I add. But anyway, he gave it to you so you could have me, your very own personal imp. Or demon, whatever gets you off. I’m whatever you want me to be, but I’m eternally stuck at your side unless you perform a ceremony to release me from the bonds of the spell. Satan specially chose me, to be your lover. He noticed how lonely you are when he snagged your soul. Oh yeah, my name’s Kyle by the way,’’ Kyle said. Stan’s eyes were bugged out from his head.

‘’What the fuck,’’ Stan said, going pale.

‘’I know, this must be so crazy for you. But I guarantee you’ll love me. Hey check this out,’’ Kyle said. Kyle shrunk his size and flew up to perch on Stan’s shoulder. Stan was frozen solid in fear, freaked out by these weird events that had occurred so quickly. Not two hours ago he had walked home from school. 

‘’I’ll be like this with you at school if you’re worrying about others. They won’t be able to see me anyway,’’ Kyle said, sitting own on Stan’s shoulder, his voice now squeakier.  
‘’Wait, hang on a second! So, you’re an imp?’’ Stan asked, temporarily pushing aside the more disturbing news Kyle gave him.

‘’Spot on, baby,’’ Kyle said, tugging a strand of Stan’s black hair. Stan thought he’d feel more uncomfortable with a demon sitting on his shoulder, but maybe the gut-wrenching experience of Satan sucking himself into Stan’s body made him tolerant of something Father Maxi would have a shit fit about. Stan wasn’t about to tell him anyway.

‘’And Satan sent you?’’ Stan asked, beginning to dawn over everything Kyle had said.

‘’Uh huh,’’ Kyle said, bored.

‘’Why though? Why did he give me this thing with you in it? What am I supposed to do with you?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Dude, didn’t you hear me before? Satan gave me to you to be your fuck buddy, because he saw how lonely and depressed you are. You get it now? I’m going to be by your side, fucking you or being fucked by you, forever at your command! You will never be lonely again, and you might one day wish you are, with me around, but not right now. Right now, I need some goddamn candy before I burn down your house and your family with it! You hear me? And don’t think about killing yourself, because I can resurrect you before the rope chokes your lung pipes. You go get me some candy, then we’re gonna fuck until the cows come home. You get it now fucker? Now do you top or bottom?’’ Kyle yelled, growing back to Stan’s size and glaring at him, shooting Stan serious daggers with his intense green eyes.

‘’But I’m not gay,’’ Stan argued feebly, feeling small and ridiculous that he was even having this conversation.

‘’So? Neither am I buddy. You think I shack up with other imps? Gross. I can change my form, so if you’re feeling like too much of a homosexual with my natural look, I can become a girl for you. I’d be into it,’’ Kyle said. 

Before Stan could refute that claim that he’d be into Kyle as a girl, Kyle glowed red, and his horned, winged form changed to quite a contrasting appearance. His curly red hair grew longer, his wings disappeared, his horns turned into floppy cow ears, and the brown cloth covering his body became a handmaidens dress. The most distracting feature was his face. His eyes had become huge and wide, glittering innocently, and his face was unmistakably that of a girl, a very beautiful girl. Stan’s jaw dropped, and Kyle drifted closer to him, lingering in Stan’s space. He or she, smelled like strawberries and vanilla. 

‘’This isn’t gay anymore, so what are you gonna do with me. I’m all yours Stan,’’ Kyle teased, leaning up to Stan and smiling sweetly. Stan gulped, and backed away from this confusing imp. The most troubling thing was that this form was very arousing, Kyle must have entranced him or something. 

There’s no way he could be attracted to a demon, from hell. 

No way.

Kyle gently held Stan’s upper arm, stroking it smoothly as he looked into Stan’s eyes, pouting his lips out innocently. 

‘’What are you doing?’’ Stan asked, panicked.

‘’I’m seducing you, genius. You wanna fuck me? Like you would a girl?’’ Kyle asked, grabbing the rim of Stan’s shirt and tugging it gently.

‘’Dude, no! I’ve never even been with anyone like that,’’ Stan said, pulling Kyle’s arms away from his body nervously.

‘’You’re a virgin? Ooh, goody! You’re gonna love this!’’ Kyle purred. Stan backed up against his closed door, and Kyle took another step forward, closing in on Stan, giving him a hungry look.

‘’You’re a demon. You’ve literally just popped out of a stone; I don’t even know you, and you were a guy a minute ago,’’ Stan said.

‘’I’ve known you for six years Stan. I’ve been watching you when you look at the talisman. I can see how lonely you are. I’ve been lonely too. Alone in that small space, the only thing I could think about was you. I thought if you ever figured out how to free me, I’d ride you as soon as possible. And that’s right now, so take your pants off,’’ Kyle smirked, and grabbed Stan by the shoulders, pulling him down to Kyle’s adjusted height. Stan made an embarrassing surprised noise as Kyle closed the space between them. He turned his face just as Kyle tried to contact his lips, and Kyle proceeded to kiss his cheek, then lick a long stripe up his face, before Stan shoved him away.

‘’Stop! what are you doing?’’ Stan yelled, as Kyle regained his winged, horned form, standing in front of him with an annoyed look. Stan felt better that the enticing form Kyle took had vanished, because it was seriously muddling his brain, and what the hell he wanted at that moment. He just knew that moment was too confusing to go along with, no matter how much a certain part of him was tempted to. No, he’s just being insane.

‘’Ok, fine. You’re not ready yet, you need time, even with my sexy cowgirl form. It’s cool, I can wait. I’m not going anywhere anyway,’’ Kyle shrugged. Stan was losing how quickly this thing changed its mind, from jogging, to candy, to sex, and what next?

‘’No! We are not doing that. We are not having sex or being fuck-buddies. You don’t belong to me; I don’t want you. Just go back to hell and leave me alone! You’re insane,’’ Stan said.

‘’Well tough fucking luck, you’re stuck with me. So, get used to it hot stuff. I’m not leaving your side,’’ Kyle said, sitting back on Stan’s shoulder and throwing a small flame at Stan’s hand when he tried to remove him. Stan cried out at the sudden burn and scowled at Kyle.

‘’But aren’t you evil? You’ll fuck up my whole life by causing chaos and trying to kill me because you’re a slave or something,’’ Stan asked, nursing his hand.

‘’Ooh look at me, I’ve got wings and horns and can-do magic. I must be pure evil, spawn from the devil himself. Well, for the most part, you’re right, but I don’t identify as evil. I prefer mischievous, but more in the bedroom vibe. Other than that, I’ve got a temper, but you’ll figure it out when something pisses me off. Most likely at school with the mortals. And as for slave, everybody in hell is a slave, so you better get used to it when you get there. I’m a slave who got a promotion, so you better believe I’ll take advantage of it,’’ Kyle said, leaning on Stan’s neck at his shrunk size. Stan ignored the comment about himself going to hell. He knew very well he was doomed, but he still had hope. That hope was currently being flattened by the presence of this demon though.

‘’Why do you have to come to school with me?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Didn’t you hear me? I can’t leave your side, forever. That includes school, until you graduate. Which I will also be there for,’’ Kyle assured him. Stan felt like screaming, but he was still afraid of this thing, and how he might react to certain things. Was Stan even sure this thing was a dude? It had just changed what Stan assumed was gender, if his face and hair was any indication.

‘’I saw you become a girl, but you look like a guy now. What are you?’’ Stan asked, his curiosity overpowering his shock.

‘’Shit dude, you wanna see my dick? I’ll show you if you need confirmation. I’m whatever you want me to be, with a cock, a pussy, neither, both, you name it. I can shapeshift my body to any human-like form, and shrink to conveniently fit on your shoulder, in your pocket, around your cock. Whatever you desire. Just ask me, and I’ll probably be into it. You’ve gotta have low standards in hell, anyways, but I’m betting you’re one of the good ones,’’ Kyle grinned.

‘’Yeah well, I guess you’ll never know, because I refuse what you’re saying. I’m not having sex with you, that’s final,’’ Stan said. Kyle shrugged, smiling slyly, like- like what? Like he was getting his way in the end anyway and it didn’t matter what Stan thought. Did it matter? Was Kyle just going to keep doing that enchantment thing with that girl form until Stan can’t resist? Stan didn’t want to think about it, but he might be able to do something to keep the obvious flirting under the radar. It wasn’t the most progressive idea, but he couldn’t think of anything else, this entire arrangement fucking with his rational thought.

‘’If you are so sure we’re going to fuck, wouldn’t it be better if we start an actual relationship, actually get to know each other, since you are stuck here for the rest of my life? It would be preferable to be with you than have an occasional toy to use when I’m bored,’’ Stan offered, going red at the fact that this is the first time he’s asked anybody out. He didn’t even know why he was doing this, it sounded like he was just embracing a bad situation, but this felt like an opportunity. For some fucked up reason Stan didn’t want to consider. Kyle met his gaze with surprise.

‘’You’d prefer to do that?’’ Kyle asked, surprised. Stan nodded, embarrassed. Kyle smiled, and unexpectedly crept closer and gave him a tight hug. Stan met the hug with surprise, but strangely embraced Kyle back. There was nothing sexual about it, and Kyle was extremely warm. It was like snuggling a blanket made of puppies; soft, delicate and extremely cute. Stan melted into it, and seconds passed before they separated again. Kyle’s face was glowing when he smiled at Stan again, and Stan genuinely smiled back. Kyle’s eyes were beaming bright green, and when he exposed his teeth to grin, the long fangs he had when he first appeared from the talisman were gone, now just normal, weirdly perfect and white human teeth.


	2. The temptations of darkness

‘’Well, uh, you should probably know something…’’ Kyle whispered, dizzyingly close to Stan’s face from the hug, still holding Stan’s forearms. Stan was surprised that Kyle was showing apprehension, Kyle had been nothing but open and blunt since they met. Stan suddenly felt the room closing in on them, or was that just him? The weight of the situation was dawning on Stan, finally. Before, he was just full of questions he couldn’t understand the answers to when Kyle gave them, it sounded like a crazy scenario in a novel. Never real life, and yet here he was. About to partake in a relationship with an imp all because he offered his soul to the devil. That didn’t really sound like a punishment.

Stan had been in a childhood relationship with a girl in his class named Wendy, but it was never serious, and he couldn’t even kiss her without barfing. He never got through his gag reflex in the end, but he decided that they were just too young to deal with such sexual things like kissing, and that’s why he couldn’t stomach it, not the other- more terrifying alternative that he just didn’t like her, or girls. He hasn’t dated anyone since, but he’s getting to the age where being single is like a cosmic crime according to high schoolers. It’s not like he hasn’t received any offers, he distinctly remembers Kenny telling him once that if Kenny had access to all the hottest girls, like Stan did, he’d fuck them all without reservation, and Stan was being a dumbass for rejecting them all. Stan could never tell him why he always said no, because he didn’t know either. Maybe he wasn’t ready, still scared he might repeat the same mistakes with Wendy and end up questioning himself so much like the 10-year-old Stan did. 

This feeling was different, it wasn’t a precursor for vomit, but a much lower heat, pooling low in his gut and making his fingers tingle. Kyle was still holding Stan’s arms tightly, staring him down seriously, and Stan was blushing all over, humiliated by everything he’d felt this afternoon.

‘’You know I was talking a big game before, acting like I’d fucked far and wide in hell, and it didn’t feel like it’d matter if I was going to be used as your fucktoy, but if you’re serious about actually going out, I want to confess,’’ Kyle said gravely.

‘’Yeah. Um, I mean, of course- if you want to. I don’t like that stuff about being owned. I’d prefer it to be mutual, dating… or something,’’ Stan said, blushing fiercely. Kyle smiled wider, and his pale cheeks took on their own pink tinge.

‘’See, I knew you’d be good. Not in bed, I know you’ll be spectacular in that respect. But real life. You’re a good person, compassionate. You get wrapped up in your own head too much, but that’s what I’m here for,’’ Kyle grinned ‘’Your friend, first and foremost,’’ he said solemnly.

‘’That sounds awesome,’’ Stan agreed, wrapping Kyle in a hug again, unable to resist his lingering heat. Kyle laughed, and it wasn’t a pretty laugh, it was unfiltered and hearty, but Stan loved it. It was real, he was seeing the real Kyle right now- not the sex-crazed demon he was introduced too before. He could live with this. Stan pulled Kyle away for a second, wondering a few things based on the surplus of information given by Kyle throughout the afternoon.

‘’If you must stay here, how do you sleep? Do you need a normal bed to sleep in?’’ Stan asked, wondering how that would work putting another bed in here without his mom thinking he’s crazy accommodating seemingly ‘nobody’.

‘’I need sleep just as you do Stan. I can choose to return to the talisman or shrink down and sleep like that. Only problem is I’d be forced to sleep on your shoulder. It’s part of the rules. That leaves sleeping this size on a normal bed,’’ Kyle said.

‘’I don’t think I could sneak another bed up here without my mum wondering, and since she can’t see you, she’ll think I’m crazy,’’ Stan said, feeling like a failure already for not having arrangements for someone he met a few hours ago. It felt like hours at least.

‘’Eh, I’ll just sleep in your bed. We’ll both fit fine. The closer the better anyway,’’ Kyle said.

‘’Kyle, this is crazy, all of this. How are my parents not going to suspect anything? What if they hear me talking to you, but they don’t see anything? They’ll have me committed,’’ Stan said.

‘’Actually dude, they could walk in here and see me clear as day. It only works when I’m shrunk, because I’m basically in your head then, like a devil on your shoulder sort of thing. I get bored up there anyway, so I prefer to stay normally proportioned.’’

‘’What! If they can see you, this is bad, really, bad. How can I explain this? A demon will be living here now, sorry mom and dad. I know you raised me Christian and all, but I decided to destroy my religion on one regret of letting that son of a bitch borrow my soul to beat up some dude. By the way he needs a bed. Ugh, I’m getting disowned,’’ Stan panicked, pulling his hands through his hair and groaning at the ceiling. Kyle grabbed his wrists and pulled them down, looking Stan in the face with a determined expression.

‘’Stan, chill the fuck out. I can handle all that shit; it’ll be like they don’t know I’m there. And they won’t know I’m an imp,’’ Kyle said, then clicked his fingers once.

‘’What the fuck was that?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Okay, so now I’m your old best friend whose parents disowned him, and you gave him a place to stay for the rest of high school until I can get my own place for college. That’s the story your parents will know me as from now on, so stick to the script and we won’t have a problem,’’ Kyle explained.

‘’How did you do that with your fingers. Is that in effect with them right now?’’ Stan asked, curious.

‘’Just a spell I learnt over the years. Your classmates can have a different story if you’d prefer me a girl for them. It probably won’t overlap, and I can fix it if it does,’’ Kyle said. They walked over to sit on Stan’s bed, legs hanging off the edge and facing each other, nearly touching. Stan felt like he needed years to understand everything going on right now.

‘’How did you come up with a story so quickly?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Well considering I spent 6 years thinking up stories for this scenario, but… It wasn’t exactly pulled from thin air, but I never got a best friend to crash with. I got hell,’’ Kyle said, bitterly.

‘’That happened to you?’’ Stan quietly asked, more intrigued with Kyle than ever before, but aware this could be a sore topic.

‘’You’d think after 800 or so years, I’d have accepted my fate by now. But it still seems like I’m dreaming and haven’t woken up from that cold snowy pavement that keeps recurring in my memory,’’ Kyle sighed, mostly ducking out of the question. Stan decided not to ask any further, he’d become darker and quieter as soon as it was brought up.

‘’So, you could be a girl for school?’’ Stan wondered, changing the subject. Kyle’s spirits lifted somewhat at that.

‘’If you want me to be. You want to parade around a sexy schoolgirl for your friends, huh?’’ Kyle teased, smirking. He morphed into a girl again, this time wearing only a thin white dress that stopped at his thighs, the thin straps falling off his shoulders seductively. His hair was down to his shoulders and wavy red, and his face was yet again the most gorgeous Stan had ever seen, this time his eyes glimmering huger than before with long strawberry eyelashes. Stan was completed awestruck and gaping openly, unable to stop, especially when Kyle yet again leaned closer, biting his plump bottom lip as he flicked his eyes down to Stan’s own lips. 

‘’Why do you do this?’’ Stan asked quietly, trying to sound annoyed but coming off as desperate and needy.

‘’Because I really, really, really want you to fuck me. So, so bad,’’ Kyle admitted, sounding desperate as well. 

Stan whispered fuck at some point, but it became indistinguishable as they collided with each other, kissing wildly. Hands were frenzied and all over the place, and Stan didn’t have enough time to interpret what he was doing, especially when he felt Kyle’s tongue devouring his mouth. They collapsed onto the bed at some point in their excitement. Kyle was on top of Stan, legs spread around Stan’s hips and humping uncontrollably. Stan’s hands unconsciously roamed down Kyle’s backside, only stopping to roll the thin dress up, revealing his bare ass. Kyle hadn’t even bothered to add underwear with the change of form. He probably knew Stan wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation, and Stan tipped his hat to Kyle for succeeding so well, though he hardly cared right now about any earlier decrees his virgin mind made.

Stan was seriously considering taking this a step further, when suddenly he felt something hard against his erection. He cracked his eyes open to find himself making out with Kyle, as a boy. He panicked for a second, but as Kyle remained oblivious that he’d returned to his original form, Stan noticed how natural it felt. There was a change, but what intrigued him the most was that the idea that he was kissing a boy, made him feel an unexpected giddiness. Was this really it, had he determined himself, with this ultimate test? 

Kyle noticed he’d stopped plundering his backside with his hands and looked down to Stan in question. That was when everything became so clear. Kyle looked stunning, his face stained red and light freckles shimmering below his eyes, his eyes themselves a colour so vivid they looked like a green highlighter coloured them in. His hair was short again, but still long for a boy, springy and vibrant and dusty red in colour. His curls were glued to the side of his head in sweat, and it just framed his pretty slender face perfectly. Stan pulled him down into a deep sweltering kiss, and that’s when Kyle realised, he’d changed back. Kyle pulled back up.

‘’Sorry, I didn’t realise I changed back. It just feels better, like how I was before,’’ Kyle admitted sheepishly, sitting back on Stan’s lap.

‘’So, stay that way. If it makes you happier,’’ Stan suggested, and Kyle looked at him in surprise.

‘’You were only attracted to girl-me, you’re not into boys,’’ Kyle said.

‘’I think you changed my mind,’’ Stan admitted, smiling up at Kyle straddling his hips. Kyle beamed, and dropped into Stan’s face, bypassing his lips for his neck, sucking slowly and determinedly, coming up to kiss Stan on the lips every few seconds.

‘’You’re amazing Stan. I’m so glad it was you,’’ Kyle breathed, kissing up and down Stan’s jaw, his hands held securely on either side of Stan’s face.

‘’Me for what?’’ Stan asked, holding Kyle by the waist as he trailed down to take Stan’s shirt off.

‘’There are many imps, and only so many jobs to take for lifelong human partners. Satan chose me for you on purpose, especially for your personality, your soul. It’s supposed to compliment mine and join us like symbiotes. It’s what makes the spell bond, and why I can never separate from you as long as you live. It’s probably presumptuous of me to say, but I just feel a connection. I can’t explain it’’ Kyle said, scooting down Stan’s body to suck on his nipple, playing with the other one with his fingers.

‘’Fuck- this is crazy. But I feel it too, and it’s making me question everything in my life if some things are this simple, this good. Jesus Christ, what is this?’’ Stan asked, sighing as Kyle stimulated his nipples with his tongue. 

‘’I don’t know. I’ve got a good feeling though,’’

Kyle pulled off and removed Stan’s pants, throwing them on the ground, then pulled his underwear down, exposing his hard dick. Kyle stared for a few seconds, looked up at Stan in disbelief, then timidly touched it in awe. He picked it up wholeheartedly, stroking it up and down, and grinned at Stan. 

‘’The biggest and most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen. I want to wreck myself on this cock Stan. Promise me, I’m the only one who can have it,’’ Kyle said, possessively gripping his dick harder. Stan groaned and nodded, delirious enough to agree to anything.

‘’S-Same with you dude. No one else gets you, in any form. You’re mine, and I’ll be yours too. If you want,’’ Stan said.

‘’You’re so considerate, asking me first. Of course, there’s no one else for me but you, this cock was made to be inside me, whether it be my ass or pussy, only yours,’’ Kyle continued to deftly stroke Stan’s dick, bending down to lick at its fat head.

‘’Should we consummate the bond of our souls?’’ Kyle asked, increasing his speed as Stan became louder in his grunts and moans.

‘’Fuck yes,’’ Stan moaned, pulling Kyle down and giving him a breathy open-mouthed kiss. Kyle grabbed his face eagerly and purred into it. After a few seconds of kissing, Kyle pulled away from Stan and looked at him with half-lidded eyes, softly teasing little kitten licks at his lips. Kyle then stopped, and seemed to be elsewhere for a few seconds, like he was deep in thought.

‘’But not tonight,’’ Kyle said, quickly crawling off Stan’s lap and bounced onto the end of the bed. Stan sat up, stunned and confused. It took him a moment to comprehend what Kyle said.

‘’Aww, fuuuck you,’’ Stan groaned, staring at Kyle in disbelief. Kyle laughed and crossed his legs, smiling sadly back at Stan. ‘’What the fuck were you getting all worked up about fucking, when you were just gonna back out the last minute?’’ Stan asked, feeling like he got played, and this whole thing was just a giant prank from the devil. He was feeling a little hurt by that. But mostly confused that he went to the effort for nothing.

‘’Stan, you know I want to. Fuck, I would give anything to just feel your dick. But I would give even more to really give this relationship a fighting chance. I want to be completely ready, and by me, I mean you. Up here relationships are different, they require more trust.’’

Stan sighed, ‘’You really are an imp. You’re screwing with my head Kyle,’’ Stan said.

‘’That’s me,’’ Kyle grinned, leaning forward and kissing Stan on the lips without warning. Stan didn’t reciprocate, too shocked to consider what the hell was going on with them. He couldn’t really keep it in.

‘’What the hell is going on with this, with us?’’ Stan asked.

‘’I’m your eternal imp, and your lover. I just want to make sure this feeling is legit, not just a high from finally being released.’’

Stan was feeling too miffed to consider the sudden weirdness that arose that night. They went down for dinner, and his mom and dad treated Kyle like their son, and nothing was out of the ordinary. The situation became weirder the more Stan thought about it, considering what the ‘brothers’ did earlier in Stan’s room. His parents only knew them as best friends though, which made him feel a little better for wanting to be inside him.

Kyle ravenously devoured his plate, not sparing a crumb. Stan supposed he was hungry after six years stuck in that tiny stone. Kyle finished off his plate and the rest of Stan’s, Stan feeling too anxious to stomach anything more than a few mouthfuls. Stan dragged Kyle back to his room after dinner, feeling exhausted from acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary. It would take some getting used to. 

‘’Do you need pyjamas? Or do you shapeshift some when you change form?’’ Stan asked, getting into a t-shirt and boxers for bed. Kyle was looking around the room, idly touching various items without reservation. Kyle turned to smile at Stan.

‘’I can just sleep naked,’’ Kyle said.

‘’You fucker. Don’t torment me.’’

‘’Fine,’’ Kyle shrugged, and glowed again, when it died down, he was wearing green flannel shirt and shorts, with Terrance and Phillip heads decorating the clothes. ‘’These are more comfortable anyway.’’

‘’Holy shit, you like Terrance and Phillip too?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Dude, I fucking love Terrance and Phillip. They don’t have the show down in hell, but I remember it from my past life. It’s like a sense of something I’ve missed, but vaguely aware of. For some reason I have every episode memorised, like my past life was so dorky that I watched it enough to know the words,’’ Kyle said.

‘’We’ve got to watch it sometime,’’ Stan said excitedly, and Kyle grinned.

Going to sleep was easier than Stan expected sharing a bed would be. He expected to feel awkward and be unable to sleep with Kyle’s face directly across from his, and their legs having to tangle to fit the twin bed. Contrarily, he experienced an intense feeling of completion, like he’d been mourning sharing a bed with Kyle for years, which was crazy. Stan had never shared a bed with anyone, and he’d only met Kyle this afternoon. 

Sleep came easier than it ever had, which made Stan feel optimistic when he woke up the next morning that this could be a good thing in the long run for his insomnia, which had been a problem since he was young, when he’d developed symptoms of depression. Stan turned to face Kyle, who was still passed out opposite him, his mouth slightly parted as he breathed. Stan laid there facing him for a while, silently watching Kyle inhale and exhale, fascinated by his face and every twitch of his facial muscles. Stan wouldn’t guess that Kyle was a demon in this calm sleeping state, if anything Stan felt like Kyle had been here all along, beside him in his bed. 

Stan suddenly felt the urge to kiss him, especially when Kyle’s eyebrows unconsciously furrowed, like he was deep in thought while dreaming. Stan silently crept closer to his face and placed a soft peck on his lips and quickly moved back, face burning. Kyle drowsily opened his eyes, looking confused for a few seconds in a delirious sleepy state, then saw Stan looking at him, and pulled Stan into his arms, giving him a sweltering open-mouthed kiss, leaving Stan breathless. He released Stan after a few seconds and smiled dopily.  
‘’I thought I dreamed that, that you figured out how to release me, and I was still trapped in the talisman. Lightyears away from you,’’ Kyle said, and yawned. ‘’I had the best sleep I’ve had in forever.’’

‘’Really? Me too,’’ Stan said, confident now that this feeling of completion in souls was the same for all parties.

‘’That settles it then Stan, we’re in this together from now on. Deal?’’

Stan responded by kissing Kyle.

‘’Deal.’’


	3. Tricks of the trade

They walked to the bus stop where Stan usually went to school by. Kyle had decided to be his natural wingless form to go to school, since that form, he’d be recognised from now on by Stan’s class, and it was easier. Kyle summoned an orange jacket with green collar, green pants, and a ushanka to wear for the cold, snowy weather. Something about Kyle’s hair being covered by the green hat, Stan found endearing, as though he was suddenly self-conscious of himself. They were the first to arrive at the bus stop, Kenny and Cartman yet to come. Stan was worrying about their reactions to this new student. They tended to be harsh with new kids.

‘’So, the story will be, like with my parents. But you’re my best friend from Evergreen got it? Kenny and Cartman don’t know I know any other people, so you’ll have to play along with what I say,’’ Stan instructed Kyle, who was swaying happily where he stood, smirking mischievously at the ground.

‘’Sure Stan,’’ Kyle replied. Stan heard their voices from a distance, and mentally prepared himself, knowing these two to be the nosiest people, who would dig into Stan’s business until they knew everything. He was determined not to let them know. If they could keep their story clean and sharp, Stan might survive this ordeal.

Stan turned to Kenny and Cartman walking together over to them, ready to explain the presence of a new boy in the group. Kenny stopped short, followed by Cartman in surprise when they saw Stan and Kyle. Stan expected this, but before he explained himself, a voice stopped him.

‘’Hi guys, I’m Stan’s friend, Kylie from Evergreen,’’ a feminine voice chirped. Stan whipped around to face Kyle in shock of the weird change in voice and gaped in horror when he saw him. Kyle had changed into a girl, this time sporting long curly locks down to her hips, a similar orange sweater snugly fitting her busty figure, a short green skirt with long socks up to her thighs. Her face was shockingly gorgeous, with green orbs for eyes staring innocently at the three boys boggling at her. Stan coughed down an embarrassing sound, Kyle stood smiling, swaying with her hands behind her back, waiting for a response. Kenny spoke up first.

‘’Well, hello Kylie. I’m Kenny. Stan never told us he had such a beautiful friend. What’s up with that Stan?’’ Kenny asked Stan in surprise, but still staring intently at Kylie, who giggled girlishly at his comment.

‘’Um…Uh,’’ Stan sputtered, overwhelmed with the multitude of emotions bubbling at his throat. Kyle just tricked him, again, and now the incredibly hot form he took will chase every single goddamn boy in the school, and Stan will have to deal with the fallout, and make sure Kyle isn’t raped or something. And then he just had to pop a fucking boner when he saw Kyle like that just then. Kyle cut in, relieving Stan from finishing his sentence.

‘’Stan knows me from my daddy’s clinic in Evergreen, where I used to live. Now I’m living here and going to school in South Park. I’m not really for big cities, so this place is good. Stan been so nice helping me settle in so far. He’s like a brother to me,’’ Kyle sighed, hugging Stan’s arm fondly. Stan had to admit, Kyle could work this act well, if his intention was to drive every boy in the vicinity crazy. And he just had to say Stan was like a brother, because now Kenny will be jumping on that shit, thinking Stan and Kylie aren’t together at all. Maybe he should kiss Kyle right here, to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. He also didn’t want the annoying gossip that he’s dating this fake person to get out. So, he just stood there, nodding along as he hatefully watched both Kenny and Cartman’s eyes darken.

‘’Did you need help finding your way around school on your first day Kylie?’’ Kenny asked, stepping closer and flashing one of his classic heartthrob smiles.

‘’Aww, that’s so sweet Kenny. But Stan can help me find my bearings,’’ Kylie said, brushing him off. Kenny didn’t lose his drive, but before he could talk again, Cartman butted in, pushing Kenny out of the way.

‘’Name’s Cartman. I wouldn’t get Stan’s help if I were you. Let’s make this simple, you’re a hot bitch. I want you as my hot bitch. I’ll show you the shithole school, and by the end of it you’ll be begging for what I can give you,’’ Cartman said. Kylie went silent and looked straight at Cartman.

‘’Okay,’’ Kylie said simply, making Stan nearly pass out into the snow when he realised what he heard. Cartman said sweet, as Kylie walked up to him, flaunting her hips as she moved through the snow. Stan and Kenny watched with their eyes bugged out as Kylie leaned up towards Cartman as though she was going to kiss him, then swiftly kicked him in the balls. Cartman howled and collapsed to the ground as Kylie continued to kick the shit out him. Stan kept getting shots of Kylie’s skirt flying up to show her black underwear, as she kept kicking with ferocity.

‘’Who’s the bitch now, you fat asshole,’’ Kylie spat, looking down on his crippled body in disgust.

‘’Holy Shit! You’re amazing,’’ Kenny exclaimed, laughing. Kylie turned back to Stan and Kenny, smiled, then walked back to her original spot beside Stan in the snow.  
‘’Why are you even friends with him Stan?’’ Kylie asked.

‘’I honestly don’t know,’’ Stan replied, shaking his head in disbelief.

‘’You gotta sit with us at lunch Kylie. Meet the rest of the crew we call friends,’’ Kenny said, grinning manically at Kylie, and giving Stan a devious smirk. Stan glared at Kenny, hoping to convey to keep his grubby mitts off her, but Stan supposed it would be getting worse he more people she met. The bus arrived and the four of them climbed on, Cartman dragging himself off the ground at the last second and scowling at the ground. The bus was loud and chaotic, but Stan felt many eyes on them; on Kylie walking behind him. Stan took a spare row toward the back of the bus, and Kylie took a seat next to him. As soon as he thought no one was in hearing distance, he started on her.

‘’What the fuck was that! You were not supposed to be a girl. Do you know how destructive this is? You don’t know the boys of my class and what they’re like. But you’re sure as shit about to find out with this way too sexy form you’ve taken,’’ Stan ranted.

‘’Calm the fuck down Stan. I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry about this being a usual problem, I’ll just be a boy next time. I just did it because I thought I’d be fun to see you get jealous and possessive. I’d like that to be my first experience at school,’’ Kylie grinned.

‘’I can’t believe you beat up Cartman 10 seconds into meeting him,’’ Stan said, shaking his head.

‘’Yeah well, the asshole deserved it. I’ll do it again if he tries anything,’’ Kyle warned.

They were interrupted by Clyde, who popped up in the seat in front of them and turned around to face them.

‘’Wow, you’re pretty. I’m Clyde,’’ Clyde said, ogling Kylie in a way that made Stan uncomfortable, though no way they did it would make him feel any better.

‘’Thanks cutie. You’re not too bad yourself,’’ Kylie winked and giggled, making her voice higher.

‘’Are you single?’’ Clyde asked.

‘’Fuck off already Clyde,’’ Stan growled, making Kylie giggle impishly. Stan shot her a look, only making her giggle harder and wink at Clyde. Clyde smiled dazedly and turned back around in his seat. Stan glared at her.

‘’Are you trying to get raped?’’ Stan asked

‘’I’m just working the goods; I don’t get attention like this as a boy. Besides, you’re the only one I’d let rape me,’’ Kyle said, swooning towards him. Stan shuffled away.

‘’I don’t want people getting the idea of us together, if you’re just going to disappear after today. It’ll become this big deal, because my class is small. Get one hot girl in there and everyone goes crazy- the boys with lust and the girls with envy,’’ Stan explained.

‘’Wow Stan, you’re pretty inciteful,’’ Kylie observed.

‘’Yeah, so I’d suggest you stay away from the girls if you don’t want your eyeballs gouged out for being prettier than them.’’

‘’That would be fun to watch everyone going crazy,’’ Kylie said. She peeked over her shoulder, finding the boys in the rows across from them staring at her, and she grinned.  
‘’Here,’’ Kylie said, unbuttoning her sweater to reveal a low-chested white t-shirt. She puffed out her chest to Stan, ‘’Watch this.’’ Kylie then morphed her form, and her breasts got bigger in seconds. Stan’s eyes were wide, and he nearly touched one to make sure it was real. Nearly, but he pulled away his hand before he could.

‘’Now they’ll go even crazier. I doubt any 16-year old’s have tits this big in your class,’’ Kylie said, then turned back to sit straight ahead, giving the guys across the aisle a good look at her breasts only held by a low collared t-shirt.

‘’You realise you’re being a slut, right?’’ Stan whispered to Kylie when she shook them a little.

‘’No- that’s only if I sleep with them. I’m being a sexy, flirty teenage girl. Intended to make you go crazy,’’ Kylie said, turning back to Stan to show him, tilting down to reveal her cleavage. Stan cleared his throat and scowled.

‘’You’re evil,’’ Stan pouted, looking ahead again. Kylie laughed and settled her arm on Stan’s shoulder, leaning onto him.

‘’Maybe later,’’ Kylie grinned.

The rest of the bus ride was full of stares and glances, and hateful looks from the girls. Kylie laughed at everyone’s bad attempt at flirting, blowing them out of the water with her own expert comebacks. Everything she did, Stan felt himself blush at, knowing that underneath the female was someone even better, surprising him by being more attractive than even this goddess of a girl he pretended to be. What made Stan proud was how fake and put on Kylie’s act was, showing him how little these meaningless flirts meant to her. It made him feel more secure about the whole thing, but he still didn’t like all the attention she got.

‘’Jesus Christ Stan. How the hell do you even know that fox?’’ Kenny asked at their lockers, Kylie had been sent off supposedly to meet the principal, but they would just hypnotise the teachers into letting her into the class later. Kylie technically wasn’t a student, since she didn’t have parents, or wasn’t technically a teenager.

‘’ _Tell him you were seeing my dad for your depression in Evergreen, and we fucked in the conference room 5 minutes after meeting,_ ’’ Kyle said, sitting on Stan’s shoulder in his miniature devil form, invisible to everyone else. Stan flicked him, unable to do anything more without the others thinking him insane for berating his shoulder.

‘’Um… Her dad worked at the clinic I went to for my depression, and she was there in the waiting room, just hanging out. So, we talked and- ‘’

‘’ _And fucked,_ ’’ Kyle added.

‘’-And got to know each other over time. I was there for a while, so I saw her a lot,’’ Stan finished, flushing.

‘’ _Lame,_ ’’ Kyle said.

‘’Well damn Stan. Good job, she’s got the finest ass I’ve ever seen. If you aren’t claiming her, I’m stepping in. Did you see the ‘fuck me’ eyes she was giving me before?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’ _Men are always fooling themselves that women want them. They were more ‘get me out of sight of this perv who’s mentally undressing me’ eyes,_ ’’ Kyle corrected.

‘’You’re not fucking her Kenny. No one is,’’ Stan said.

‘’So, you are dating her?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’No, but she isn’t interested in any of you losers,’’ Stan corrected, perhaps bitchily, but this needed to be said.

‘’How the hell do you know fag?’’ Cartman asked, appearing beside Kenny.

‘’Uh, I don’t know you retard, maybe because she kicked your ass after you made that sorry excuse of asking her out. Just a guess,’’ Stan said.

‘’Pfft, that girl wanted me. I could tell. She’s just a feisty bitch,’’ Cartman denied.

‘’ _WHAT! Oh, no way. That fatass is dead. He’s fucking dead!_ ’’ Kyle shouted into Stan’s ear, making him wince.

‘’Shut the fuck up Cartman. She was on the verge of vomiting when she saw you,’’ Kenny said.

‘’Dude, if you aren’t going to claim her, I am jumping on that hot ass,’’ Kenny said to Stan, ‘’Was it just me or did her tits get bigger the next time I saw her? If she’s one of those people that do that to you, she’ll be taken by the end of the day,’’ Kenny told the boys who appeared in the conversation at the mention of Kylie, who apparently everyone was already infatuated with.

‘’I noticed that. She is pretty hot,’’ Token piped in.

‘’She’s a fucking sex goddess,’’ Kenny corrected.

‘’Alright fine. If you pathetic assholes think you can win her over, be my guest. I’ll just watch as you idiots make absolute fools of yourselves in a game you will never win,’’ Stan said, lifting his arms in surrender.

‘’Where is she?’’ Kenny asked, jumping in front of Stan manically, immediately interested in this bet.

‘’I think she went to the principal to get settled. You’ll have to catch her around,’’ Stan said, partly gloating, because none of them could see she was right here, and only Stan had access.

‘’ _Mmm, Stan. I love it when you grant permission for others to win my body. Like you’re my daddy,_ ’’ Kyle purred at his ear. Stan bit down a grin as the boys ran off towards the direction of the principal’s office. Stan thought he was alone, and Kyle could change back to full form, but then he found Wendy standing in front of him, with Bebe and Red. They looked annoyed.

‘’Uh, hey guys,’’ Stan greeted awkwardly, and they held their hands on their hips.

‘’Just who is that new girl that all the boys are suddenly into?’’ Wendy asked. Stan blinked in surprise; he didn’t think this was affecting the girls that much. It’s not like they strived for the boys attention. He thought Wendy was feminist anyway.

‘’A friend from Evergreen that moved here,’’ Stan responded, feeling like these three girls were dissecting him and studying the organs to make sure he wasn’t lying.

‘’Well, she’s a whore, and we want her out of here,’’ Red spat, then nudged by Bebe, as though not to be so blunt.

‘’What Red meant to say, was that we feel like the boys are being too distracted by her to pay attention to their girlfriends, us. And since you seem to be the only one not obsessed with chasing after her, we were wondering if you could sell South Park as the shithole it is and convince her to leave,’’ Bebe said.

‘’ _Wow, how petty of them,_ ’’ Kyle commented.

‘’Um, well it’s not up to me, she wanted to live here. There’s not much I could do. And why would I? It’s you guys with a vested interest. I don’t care,’’ Stan said. Wendy scoffed.

‘’Look Stan, you might not be running off like the others to cater to her whims, but it’s obvious you’ve got a thing for her. You’re possessive,’’ Wendy explained.

‘’She’s my cousin! I don’t want her taken advantage of by the hicks in this town, okay? So, back off,’’ Stan exclaimed, coming up with that reasoning on the spot.

‘’ _Whoa, Stan. That makes my flirting before pretty fucked up. You better amend me flashing my tits before. Let’s say I had a stain on my shirt, there we go,_ ’’ Kyle said.

‘’Oh,’’ Wendy said, quietly, looking back at Bebe and Red.

‘’Okay, I didn’t want to really tell people, because she didn’t want to be referred to as ‘Stan’s cousin’, you know? She wanted to make it in the world her own way, without my help,’’ Stan said.

‘’ _GAY!_ ’’ Kyle shouted, chuckling.

‘’Well, her way is gonna be whoring her way through the class through high school, if you let her go on like she has today’’ Red bitchily said.

‘’ _Hold on to your dick Stanley, I’m making a comeback,_ ’’ Kyle said, and he disappeared in a little puff of smoke from Stan shoulder. Shortly after stood Kylie, who snuck up to Stan out of view from the girls and surprised him, hugging him from behind.

‘’Hey there stranger, sick of me yet?’ Kylie said, and Stan jumped and turned his head to face her.

‘’Hey, we were just talking about you. Meet Wendy, Bebe and Red,’’ Stan pointed to each of them, introducing them, and noted how miffed they all looked at the presence of Kylie.

Some people were just too hot for this world.

‘’Nice to meet you guys. You know Stan well I’m guessing. You know how much of a big softy he is under that muscle,’’ Kylie laughed, though the other girls were not responsive to her sunny attitude.

‘’Yes. I know especially well. Stan and I used to date,’’ Wendy stated, her clipped tone hiding her hatred.

Kylie’s eyes sunk a little, but she kept smiling.

‘’Dude, that was like third grade,’’ Stan said, feeling uncomfortable.

‘’Are you seeing anyone now Wendy?’’ Kylie asked, releasing Stan and standing beside him.

‘’Uh yes, and you might know him. He introduced himself to you earlier,’’ Wendy remarked, probably aware that he hit on Kylie like every other boy.

‘’Oh yeah, who was it? So many people introduced themselves today, I haven’t been able to remember them all. Everyone here is just so nice and friendly, especially you girls!’’ Kylie sarcastically said, though her tone was so genuinely cheerful that it might have gone over their heads.  
‘’Token Black,’’ Wendy said.

‘’Oh, Token! He was so nice! I’m really happy for you, I can see why you’re together, that’s sweet. Makes more sense than Stan, to be honest,’’ Kylie said, glancing at Stan and grinning. Behind the smile, Stan could see Kylie’s irritation.

‘’Yeah well, right now, Token seems more interested in you than me,’’ Wendy huffed.

‘’Oh c’mon, it’s just because I’m the new girl. Trust me I’ve been in your shoes, when a new chick comes to town and threatens the dynamics of the class with the boys interest in her. Hell, I had a boyfriend that did the same thing to a new girl that yours did to me. Just give it time, the boys will get bored, and realise I’m not as interesting as they fooled themselves to believe. You seem cool, Token will come around, and realise he likes you more than anyone else,’’ Kylie said.

Stan was impressed Kylie was being so genuine to Wendy, given how much of a bitch Kyle heard her being before. She was trying to make a good impression, trying to backtrack her hotness to a more forgivable level. She was trying to be friends with these girls, regardless of their attitude towards her.

Wendy softened her stance, along with Bebe and Red, who seemed to feel less hateful towards Kylie now.

‘’I was just worried. You’re really beautiful, and I didn’t want to lose Token,’’ Wendy admitted, looking down at the ground.

‘’Aww thanks, but you’re the pretty one. All of you are. No wonder you guys have the best boyfriends. You’re all knockouts!’’ Kylie said.

‘’Thanks Kylie, you’re pretty cool. You wanna sit with us at lunch?’’ Bebe asked.

‘’I would love to sit with you guys and get to know you, but Stan and Kenny already offered their table, so maybe next time,’’ Kylie said.

‘’Kenny? I would be careful of him Kylie. He’s a known slutbag. Don’t close your eyes for too long around him,’’ Bebe warned, and Kylie laughed.

‘’Yeah, so I’ve heard. Don’t worry, I kicked Cartman in the balls this morning when he got frisky. I can handle them,’’ Kylie said.

‘’Seriously? That’s awesome!’’ Wendy laughed.

‘’Hey maybe you and Wendy could tag team beating up the fatass. Since you’re both naturals,’’ Bebe pointed out.

‘’Ha, that would be awesome. Uh, Stan, remember that thing I need to do before class starts, plus I don’t really know my way around?’’ Kylie asked, turning to Stan, who’d been vaguely concentrating on their conversation and how quickly they went from enemies to best friends. It was baffling and looked very complicated.

‘’Oh, yeah. We should go now,’’ Stan said, nudging Kylie.

‘’I’ll see you girls later,’’ Kylie said, waving, and they waved back happily.

‘’Bye Kylie!’’

Once they were out of earshot, Kylie sighed heavily and leaned against Stan as they walked.

‘’Jesus Fucking Christ, that was hard. I cannot imagine living with that passive aggressive sarcasm towards everybody every day. How do girls not fucking kill themselves over that stress, Jesus Christ,’’ Kylie ranted.

‘’I thought you did really well there, those girls hated you so much, and you turned them into your besties in 3 minutes,’’ Stan pointed out.

‘’Whatever, they’re just fucking drama queens, making a sob story over their boyfriends interest in a hot girl. As if they haven’t come across any other hot girls in their life before and learnt how to deal with it. You just pretend like you sympathise, then turn the enemy on the boyfriend, and bam! You got yourself a new best friend,’’ Kyle shrugged.

‘’You’re pretty inciteful too you know,’’ Stan said, amazed by Kylie’s strategy.

‘’C’mon sexy, we gotta get to class,’’ Kylie said, pushing Stan along.


	4. Caught in the act

They made their way to class, where the boys who had tripped over themselves to find Kylie were sitting, looking disappointed and subdued, until they saw Kylie enter the classroom, and then they were tripping over themselves again. Kenny bombarded Kylie, offering her a seat next to his, which Kylie refused and took one next to Stan. People scrambled to sit on the other side of her, but Butters beat them to it, already closer than anyone and genuinely interested in getting to know her. Stan would probably only trust Butters to have a decent conversation with Kylie without flirting or making suggestions. Stan knew this because he knew that Butters was hopelessly gay for Kenny, something no one else knew, and Stan had promised to keep secret.

Kenny was sitting behind Stan, something Stan resented, because Kenny nonstop pestered him, trying to get Stan to pass Kylie notes. Stan just left them in a pile on his desk, refusing to read them, knowing they’d be obscenely filthy. One note Kenny threw him was about to go into the pile, when Stan noticed it was for him instead. He opened it and read.

_Bebe told me sex goddess is ur cuz. That true? If so, damn marsh, you got some hot genes in ya!_

Stan turned in his seat to face Kenny, flipping him off.

Kenny leant forward and asked, ‘’You really cousins? I was sure Kylie was making googoo eyes at you.’’

‘’She’s just affectionate. It’s nothing,’’ Stan denied, feeling idiotic for using that word. Kylie wanted his dick when she was making those eyes, as she put it.

‘’So, you give me your blessing to fuck her?’’ Kenny asked, and Stan gave him the dirtiest look.

‘’NO!’’ Stan hissed, turning back to face the front. Apparently, Kylie heard that conversation, and she smiled at Stan, then turned back to face Kenny, winking and sticking her tongue out playfully.

‘’Your place or mine?’’ Kenny asked Kylie, leaning forward on his elbows.

‘’Yours,’’ Kylie responded, licking her lips seductively at Kenny before turning back in her seat.

Kenny stumbled back in his seat, flabbergasted and looking around him to see if anyone witnessed it. He leant back in his chair, smiling smugly.

‘’Damn girl. You’re the real shit,’’ Kenny said. Stan turned back around angrily and scoffed.

‘’You’re a dumbass Kenny. She just played your ass,’’ Stan said.

‘’I would not be opposed to her playing with my ass. For the record,’’ Kenny stated, holding his finger up in declaration.

‘’Sick dude!’’ Stan winced.

‘’If Kyle were here, you’d be agreeing with that statement,’’ Kenny mumbled, sighing wistfully. Stan sputtered when he heard that, then quickly turned to Kylie, who’d heard that statement, her eyes wide and worried.

‘’What did you say?’’ Stan asked, turning around to face Kenny with a look of shock.

‘’Oh shit, I didn’t even realise I said that. Forget it, it’s not important. I’m just rambling shit, whatever,’’ Kenny brushed Stan off, looking away sadly. ‘’Fuck off Marsh’’ he spat when Stan continued to stare him down.

Before Stan had time to ask for further explanation about what Kenny meant by Kyle, their teacher walked in and silenced the class. Stan looked at Kylie again, who gave him a small worried glance, obviously also perturbed about what Kenny said. The teacher was calling out names for marking attendance when he came across Kylie, who wasn’t on the class list. Stan worried when he thought Kyle hadn’t hypnotised the teacher yet, and they might get into trouble before they could. The teacher stared at Kylie for a few seconds, back down at the list, then back up again.

‘’I’m Kylie Kern,’’ Kylie said, when the teacher was obviously confused. Stan was flattered Kylie had gone to the effort to find his uncle Jimbo’s last name, but that just made him queasy when he thought that this scenario made Kylie Jimbo’s daughter, and how the hell did that happen?

‘’Oh, are you new here? Your name isn’t filled out on the class list yet. You’ll need to go to the principal to fix that.’’

‘’That’s okay, I don’t need to do that,’’ Kylie said, and clicked her fingers once, quickly. Someone who wasn’t looking out for it wouldn’t have noticed, but Stan knew, so he spotted the trick immediately.

‘’Okay, I guess I don’t,’’ Their teacher said, sounding rehearsed and robotic. ‘’Welcome to the class Kylie’’

‘’Thank you, sir,’’ Kylie said, smiling sweetly.

The lesson was certainly an interesting one. Turns out Kylie was something of a genius, answering questions more than anybody else, and the boys of the class for the first time were paying attention in class, trying to compete with her and impress her. Half of them fell flat on their faces, unable to keep up with her worldly knowledge. She had said something about being an imp of 800 years, so that made sense she was smarter than the teacher. Stan just sat and watched her most of the lesson, admiring everything. At one point she turned to look at Stan and smiled smugly, which made Stan’s heart flutter, as though she was his crush and he was seeing her from a distance he could never cross, an inaccessible celebrity.

‘’That was pretty damn impressive before,’’ Stan commented later, sitting at their lunch table where Kenny offered Kylie a place. Where once their table had spare seats, was now crowded with boys trying to sit with them.

‘’I just like school, call me strange,’’ Kylie shrugged.

‘’Seriously though Kylie, you’re smart as shit. You’re even smarter than Wendy, and she’s a nerd,’’ Kenny emphasized.

‘’Stop, you guys. You’re making me blush,’’ Kylie giggled, not blushing at all. The boys laughed overly loud and enthusiastic, and Kenny put his arms around Kylie’s shoulders chuckling. Stan scowled, and Kylie caught this and flashed him a small grin.

‘’Actually, there’s something I need to do. Stan, could you come with me please?’’ Kylie said. Some boys offered her company instead, but she refused, looking at Stan expectantly.  
‘’Uh sure’’ Stan said, letting Kylie drag him away from the cafeteria.

‘’What’s going on?’’ Stan asked when they were outside the doors of the cafeteria, alone in the halls. Kylie pulled him towards her and crushed her mouth against his, licking his lips open. Stan moaned in surprise, then pulled away when he realised where they were.

‘’We can’t do this here. People think you’re my cousin, this is fucked up,’’ Stan argued.

‘’That’s why I’m doing it. I want to be caught with the hottest guy in the school, so they know who’s really fucking the hot girl,’’ Kylie purred, kissing Stan again.

Stan held her shoulders, looked at her gravely and sighed fuck it. They collided with each other, hands roaming as they made out with ferocious intent in the halls. Kylie pushed Stan against the wall, starting to climb him, and that’s when Stan felt a hardness rubbed against his thigh. He opened his eyes expecting Kyle to be a boy again, but she still had her female form. Stan pawed her, feeling her dick jump at the attention. A girl with a dick, that was something. Kylie released Stan’s mouth and panted; her leg latched up high on his hip. She realised Stan had noticed the incriminating feature and smirked.

‘’You kinky bitch, does my dick get you off?’’ Kylie asked, humping him wholeheartedly. Stan gulped, his own dick responding positively to the outcome, surprisingly.

‘’Fuck Kyle,’’ Stan panted, and Kylie connected their lips again. Stan was distantly aware this is the maximum they could do out in the halls, the chance of being discovered very possible, especially considering how popular Kylie was with the boys. He didn’t stop though.

**

Meanwhile in the cafeteria, the table of boys left over when Kylie left the table were arguing.

‘’Guys, you need to back off. She’s obviously into me,’’ Cartman claimed, and Kenny scoffed.

‘’If anything, she’s into Stan. She’s always clinging to him,’’ Token pointed out, and Kenny shook his head.

‘’No, that can’t be true. Bebe told me Stan told her they were cousins,’’ Kenny said.

‘’Well who does she like then, if it can’t be Stan?’’ Clyde asked.

‘’Why don’t I just go and ask her, no tricks, just straightforward ask who she likes,’’ Kenny offered.

‘’Yes Kenny, go and find out, whatever it takes,’’ Cartman said seriously, putting his fist down on the table like an authority.

Kenny got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria the way they saw her, and Stan go. He walked out into the halls, wondering where she went, when he saw it. Stan pushed against the wall, Kylie attacking him with her tongue, Stan’s hands groping her ass, both of their moans echoing the halls. Kenny gaped for a few seconds, his mouth wide open, when he exclaimed ‘’Holy fucking shit!’’

Stan jumped in surprise, and Kylie released him, stepping back. Stan stood back up properly, mortified and his mouth forming half-words to explain himself. Kylie stood next to him, clearly less concerned they were caught.

‘’What the hell.’’

‘’Kenny, um, it’s kind of complicated- ‘’ Stan stammered, his face on fire.

‘’You’re making out with your cousin Stan. It’s not that complicated. What the fuck, I didn’t think you’d be capable of that,’’ Kenny exclaimed.

‘’Oh please, did you really believe we’re fucking cousins?’’ Kylie asked, butting in.

‘’Well, yeah. Wait- you’re not?’’ Kenny asked, confused.

‘’Stan is my fucking boyfriend. If he didn’t want people to know, that his fucking loss. They don’t get to see this hot shit,’’ Kylie said. Kylie grabbed Stan’s face and kissed him deeply, then released him and looked at Kenny again. Kenny looked at Stan, who had his eyes wide and his mouth parted.

‘’Why would you make up this elaborate story that makes you relatives, if you were just gonna hump in the halls where anyone can discover you?’’ Kenny asked.

  
‘’Um… she’s kinky?’’ Stan guessed, questionably looking at Kylie. Kylie scoffed.

‘’Pfft! Then who was the one who got off on the idea of me having a cock?’’ Kylie quipped at Stan, who blushed wildly.

‘’Woah!’’ Kenny exclaimed.

‘’No, that- whatever! Why is this the discussion right now?’’ Stan stuttered.

‘’Kylie, you are hottest, kinkiest girl I’ve ever met. Would you consider having a threesome?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’Fuck no!’’ Stan yelled.

‘’That’s cool of you to say Kenny, but this entire thing is an act for Stan. I’m just looking to get into his pants here. But he gets jealous easily, so I’ll have to pass on that offer,’’ Kylie said.

‘’Damn Stan, you are one lucky son of a bitch,’’ Kenny remarked.

‘’Whatever, why don’t you go flirt with Butters, he’d be more receptive,’’ Stan spat, bitter about being discovered by Kenny, even though that was Kylie’s intention. Kenny blinked in surprise.

‘’Butters? What does he-? ‘’ Kenny was cut off by Stan.

‘’Jesus Kenny, stop with the bullshitting. Either reel him in or cut him loose, it’s too cruel to leave him dangling like you do,’’ Stan said. Kenny was silent, stone faced, then he frowned at Stan.

‘’I don’t think you understand what you’re talking about. Butters’ is irrelevant. We are talking about how you and your girlfriend tricked everyone and toyed with them so they would chase her. How did you even meet?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’That part was true when I told you before. I don’t know Kenny; things are kind of fucked up for me right now. I’d appreciate you do not tell people about this. It’ll become this big deal,’’ Stan pleaded.

‘’Ugh, fine! You owe me big time Stan. Next time I bring my sexy girlfriend from out of town, you better believe I’ll make you keep it secret. Why didn’t you tell me you were dating someone?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’I don’t know man, this a pretty recent development,’’ Stan said awkwardly, looking back at Kylie.

‘’I’ll say, I always thought you were gay,’’ Kenny said.

‘’Dude!’’ Stan exclaimed, and Kylie laughed.

‘’He probably is, if he wants me to have a dick so bad,’’ Kylie remarked. Kenny burst out laughing, but it was genuine for the first time since Kylie was introduced. Stan gaped at Kylie, hiding a surprised laugh at her audacity. Maybe Kyle was rubbing off on him, in terms of shamelessness.

‘’For reals. I’ve said it before, but you are the shit, Kylie. If you ever get bored of Stan, give me a call,’’ Kenny said. Kylie laughed.

‘’Sorry Kenny, but I can’t get bored of Stan. Literally, like, it’s part of the rules,’’ Kylie explained, earning a glare from Stan to shut up about it.

‘’Alright. I won’t tell the others, but that means you’ll have to put up with people hitting on you all the time,’’ Kenny warned.

‘’I know, we’ll deal with it,’’ Stan assured him, though he wasn’t so sure.


	5. I love you so much it fucking burns

Kenny had to tell the group at his lunch table he couldn’t find out, Kylie wouldn’t tell him, and they seemed satisfied with that attempt. They tried to ask Kylie themselves later, but she shrugged them off, saying she wasn’t interested in anyone, with a flirtatious wink that made them surer than ever that she did like someone. On the way home from school, Stan and Kyle were walking home instead of catching the bus, trying to avoid people crowding around Kylie and trying to flirt. She had regained the male form she was supposed to have at school, and they were holding hands as they trudged through the sludgy snow. Stan was mildly blushing, because anyone who drove past could see Stan holding hands with a boy, but the act itself was nice, so he held on firmly. He was surprised how grounded Kyle was with small physical comforts, considering how slutty Kylie was today with everyone which wasn’t really shocking for Stan. Kyle was from hell, he sent out temptation, so of course he’d be into shamelessly sexual, because it was the opposite of what Stan was taught at church. It was kind of hot, how much opposite he was to anyone Stan’s ever known, South Park being a widely Christian town.

‘’How are you going to turn up at school tomorrow as a boy?’’ Stan asked as they walked through the snowy path home.

‘’Eh, I’ll come up with it as I go. Maybe Kylie has a twin brother and she went back to Evergreen. I don’t know Stan; we’ll worry about it later,’’ Kyle said, shrugging.

‘’Kyle?’’

‘’Huh?’’ Kyle looked at Stan, who blushed at the ground.

‘’Um, remember today when you jumped me in the halls?’’ Stan asked nervously. Kyle looked over at him and grinned. He seemed to know where this was going.

‘’Uh huh, we didn’t get to finish our business, did we?’’ Kyle asked, drifting closer to Stan’s side, looming over him in a way that made Stan think of him hanging off his shoulder.

‘’Yeah, and uh, last night. It kind of died at kissing, so I was kind of wondering…’’ Stan dropped off, blushing furiously at the ground.

‘’What Stan?’’ Kyle asked, teasing him.

‘’I really want to fuck you!’’ Stan blurted, turning to Kyle. Kyle looked bewildered, blushing red in earnest for the first time, making his light freckles illuminate his embarrassed face. For some reason, even though Stan hadn’t seen him blush before, that action seemed very Kyle-like, and he couldn’t determine why. The action made his cock jump with surprised interest.

‘’It’s just, you said before I had to be ready, and assertive or something. I know what I want, I knew when I met you. And it’s crazy because I barely know you- but I can’t help it. I just, really need it, you. I need you,’’ Stan said, trying to sound dominant. Kyle looked at him with such sad eyes that Stan was sure he would refuse, but then Kyle was kissing him, with his tongue, and diving into Stan mouth, sloppy and wet and hot as he held the back of Stan’s head. Stan moaned and opened wider for Kyle, trying to assert how much he wanted this. They stood in the snow as they deepened the kiss, on the sidewalk of the road. 

Stan distantly heard a car coming from under the hum of Kyle’s moaning, but he ignored it until a horn was blaring right into his ear. Stan and Kyle released each other with a gasp, and Stan gasped again when he saw the car, an SUV, right next to them on the road, the driver peering at them with a frown. Stan’s heart nearly exploded when he saw that the driver was his uncle Jimbo. 

Jimbo’s frown turned into a loud gasp when he realised it was Stan, kissing a boy on the side of the road. He looked astonished, and Stan was mortified and terrified. They stood staring at each other in shock, until Kyle coughed to break the silence. Jimbo coughed into his hand, his eyes wide and stunned at Stan.

‘’Stanley! What are you doing?’’ Jimbo finally asked.

‘’Um, it’s not- not what it looks like,’’ Stan stammered, glancing at Kyle in panic. Kyle raised his eyebrow at Stan, then looked back at Jimbo.

‘’Is it a problem he knows you’re gay?’’ Kyle asked Stan.

‘’What! You’re gay Stan?’’ Jimbo shouted, boggling at him. Stan wanted to hide under the ground, but he couldn’t make himself move. Jimbo was a bad person to find out, if anyone had to know.

‘’Jimbo’s my uncle, so yeah!’’ Stan said loudly, unable to change the panicked tone of his voice. Kyle sighed and snapped his fingers, and it took a moment to realise what he’d done, but then Jimbo was talking again, and he didn’t sound shocked or angry.

‘’What are you doing out here Stanley? You’ll catch your death in this snow, then your mom will have my head on a spike,’’ Jimbo called from his car. Stan boggled at Kyle, who smiled smugly. Kyle nudged him, telling him to talk, and Stan found his voice stuck in his throat.

‘’Uh, we were just walking home,’’ Stan croaked, feeling dizzy.

‘’Oh well, why didn’t you say so. I’ll give you boys a ride home, hop in,’’ Jimbo said at his usual loud pitch.

‘’Thanks, Jimbo,’’ Kyle chirped, pulling Stan along with him as they climbed into the backseats of Jimbo’s SUV. Stan could barely walk, too shocked that something so drastic had happened and Kyle snapped it away, giving them a second chance like it was nothing. It was also scary how powerful Kyle was, and Stan wanted to fuck him more than ever because of it. He was getting used to this exhilarating lifestyle, in the span of two days. Kyle grinned deviously at him once they were buckled in and Jimbo took off, speeding into town on a journey that might’ve taken them half an hour, taking only a few minutes. 

While they were driving, Jimbo was loudly recounting some stories from the war he and Ned were in. Stan mostly ignored him, in favour of sneaking glances at Kyle and blushing as Kyle subtly trailed his fingers up and down Stan’s leg, gently brushing over Stan’s crotch. Kyle was red himself, but it looked adorable, so Stan was at his edge when Kyle pressed his fingers down, putting pressure of Stan’s already throbbing dick, and acting like he wasn’t doing anything at the same time. Stan let out a tiny growl in the back of his throat, mostly unheard, except for Kyle, who rubbed him a little more generously afterwards. Stan had hard time stopping from bucking his hips, so he had to sit tortuously still as he listened to Jimbo retell war stories and Kyle stroke his dick through his jeans in the backseat. 

They were finally at Stan’s house, and Stan all but pushed Kyle and himself out of the car, only stopping himself from running inside to thank Jimbo for driving them.

‘’Hey, Stan! Say hi to your mom for me. I’ve gotta get to the store and get back to Ned. He’s been keeping shop for us while I get us some supplies,’’ Jimbo called from his truck.  
‘’Sure Jimbo. Thanks for the ride again, have fun with Ned’’ Stan replied, risking the comment about Ned. It was basically unspoken, but Stan was confident that Jimbo and Ned were together. That’s why it mattered if Jimbo knew about Stan, because it meant the most to him if he was accepted. He wants Jimbo to be happy too, out of hiding, and getting that first recognition that Jimbo supports him might encourage Jimbo to be less scared.

‘’I always do. See you later Stanley, come hunting with us sometime,’’ Jimbo said. Stan wasn’t going hunting with them, he hated shooting animals for sport, but he nodded anyway and watched Jimbo drive away. 

Stan turned to Kyle, who was still pink in the cheeks and looking at him innocently, his eyes wide. Stan groaned and pulled him towards the house, and pushed him against the front door, kissing him hard as he held his hands to the door and flattened himself to Kyle. Kyle yelped in surprise then purred, grabbing Stan’s waist and pulling him forward until they were connected, pelvis to pelvis, and kissing so deep Stan felt their bodies melding into one, both their erections grinding together. Stan pressed kisses at Kyle’s panting mouth, unable to stop tasting him, until Kyle hitched his leg higher up Stan’s hip and Stan remembered how badly he wanted to go further. Stan pulled away from Kyle’s mouth, breathing heavily and looking into Kyle’s lidded eyes with his own.

‘’Bedroom,’’ Stan whispered against Kyle’s lips, and Kyle nodded feverishly, humping Stan’s leg as he sucked at his bottom lip. They broke apart as they entered the house, where Randy was watching television in the living room. They both had guilty red faces as they crept up the stairs, kissing halfway there, then breaking part again when they remembered where they were, and that Stan’s dad could easily look over to them and catch them in the act. They giddily hurried into Stan’s room, laughing under their breaths until they were inside, and the door was locked, and they were on each other again. At some point they’d collapsed against the bed, Kyle straddling Stan as they desperately made out. Kyle was humping Stan with fluid motions of his hips, so good at this that Stan didn’t think he’d make it, until Kyle whined and released his lips from Stan’s panting and looking down at Stan in a mind-blowing way.

‘’Ughh, it’s not enough. I need dick. I need your gargantuan cock stuffed up my ass,’’ Kyle whined, moaning as he slid himself up and down Stan’s crotch, trying to ride him through their clothes. Stan barely had to nod as Kyle quickly pulled off Stan’s jeans, then his own. Stan flipped him over, so he was on top of Kyle, then removed his boxers, breathing heavy as his dripping dick finally released from the cramped space in his pants. Kyle dropped his gaze to Stan’s cock, and promptly grabbed it, jerking it as Stan removed Kyle’s underwear.

‘’Every time I see this cock it gets better. And now I’m finally going to have it, I’ve been waiting six years for this moment,’’ Kyle panted, stroking Stan’s dick with trembling fingers. Suddenly Stan’s nerves returned, hitting him like a tidal wave that gave him apprehension for the first time since yesterday. Kyle sensed this sudden unease and stopped touching his dick, looking back at a scared Stan.

‘’You know, I learnt about the process of gay sex through guides that Satan had a full library of. He’s a homosexual, if you didn’t already know, so I know what to do,’’ Kyle assured him, pulling his fingers through Stan’s hair. Stan was still uneasy, now stressed that Kyle knew what he was doing, and Stan obviously didn’t.

‘’Did you, learn with anyone else?’’ Stan asked nervously, and a little bitterly. He was pretty sure he loved Kyle, and the idea that Kyle opened himself up this way to anyone else was upsetting. Kyle looked at him with a frown, then blushed, softly.

‘’Um, I wanted you to like, think of me a seasoned veteran of gayness, so you’d feel less like an awkward teenager about this, but um. Turns out I’m the same. I’m still a virgin,’’ Kyle admitted, bleeding red furiously. Stan was stunned, and suddenly blushed himself, considering that he was a virgin too. ‘’And that’s like a big no no, in hell, where everyone is a depraved whore. People were calling me an angel because of it, which is a huge insult down there, so I was getting desperate. Oh fuck, I would have done the proper courting thing with you if I wasn’t so desperate, but Stan. You’re just so- fuckable,’’ Kyle said. ‘’I’m surprised some girl, or hell some guy, didn’t jump you earlier.’’

‘’Well, I’ve been too depressed for the past six years to date,’’ Stan said, straddling Kyle’s naked hips, starting to feel more comfortable.

‘’Are you depressed now?’’ Kyle asked.

‘’Not since you came into my life,’’ Stan said, knowing it was the truth. If anything, his life has been so hectic since Kyle came that he hasn’t had time to feel sorry for himself, but he’d like to think Kyle’s company makes him better, it is true in most ways. Kyle grinned and pulled Stan down, and they kissed, Kyle dragging Stan’s lip between his teeth.

‘’You’ve got stretch me with your fingers first,’’ Kyle whispered when they parted. Stan shouldn’t have found that idea extremely hot, but he did, and shuffled back so he could pull Kyle’s legs open around him to access him. Kyle’s breath hitched and he watched silently as Stan’s hand skimmed over Kyle’s ass and gently pulled his cheeks apart. Stan watched Kyle as his hand found his entrance and softly teased his opening. Stan was more enjoying the look on Kyle’s face than the act itself, which Stan was nervous with. Kyle looked astonished, like he was shocked Stan had even gone this far with him, and he fidgeted slightly, breathless when Stan pressed in, gaining entry. Stan used one finger to shimmy around the walls of Kyle’s ass, shocked he was so tight with only one finger, and he couldn’t imagine what the much larger girth of his dick would do, or even feel like inside him.

Kyle was holding Stan’s arms as he maneuvered himself deeper into him, already gritting. Stan slowed down when he saw Kyle’s physical stress.

‘’Dude, you want me to stop, or take it out?’’ Stan asked, touching Kyle’s face with his free hand. Kyle groaned and shook his head.

‘’I need to do this, I have to know what it feels like,’’ Kyle gritted out, holding Stan tighter.

‘’Kyle- do you even know if you want this, are you even gay?’’ Stan asked, hyperventilating at that possibility. Kyle scoffed at him.

‘’Of course, I am, dumbass. I want this more than you can imagine, so just get in there and tame my ass already,’’ Kyle demanded, so Stan pushed in deeper wiggling a bit, when suddenly Kyle’s body shook, and he moaned.

‘’Oh god, okay that felt fucking good. Can you do that again?’’ Kyle asked, rolling his hips onto Stan’s finger now, futilely trying to find it again. Stan tried to hit that area again, and knew he found it when Kyle’s pupils blew up and he did a full body shiver.

‘’Fuh- found it,’’ Kyle moaned. Stan was amazed how quickly Kyle became a shivering wreck, shaking on Stan’s arms.

‘’I think you stretched me enough. Put your dick in now,’’ Kyle said shakily, grabbing it. Stan removed his finger, making Kyle clench.

‘’Don’t I need lube or something?’’ Stan asked, thinking about how hard it was to push with just his finger with nothing on it, how pained Kyle was at first.

‘’Oh yeah, fuck Stan, you’re even more a pro than me now,’’ Kyle grinned, sitting up and leaning over to Stan’s bedside table and pulling a tube of lotion out.

‘’I put it in there yesterday,’’ Kyle said, answering Stan question of how that got in there for him. ‘’Just in case you grabbed me in your sleep,’’ Kyle winked. Stan pulled him back to the bed and grabbed the lotion, about to dump it onto his dick when Kyle stopped him.

‘’I want to put it on myself,’’ Kyle said, slopping it on, and spreading it up and down Stan’s dick. ‘’I want to touch this cock as much as possible, all the time.’’

‘’Can I, um- should I?‘’ Stan stammered, feeling the nerves kick his ass.

‘’Yeah. Start slow and work yourself in there, then. Just wreck me on this dick,’’ Kyle said, lying back onto the pillow as Stan pulled his legs higher on his waist. Stan hesitated, then aligned his dick with Kyle’s hole, pushed in the head and… holy shit. The tight feeling of Kyle’s walls felt like heaven, and Stan was struggling not to come just from that mind-blowing initial penetration. As Stan pushed himself in further, Kyle grabbed the sheets of the bed and clutched them tight, eyes blaring into Stan’s the entire time, empty noises croaking into the air and going unheard as Stan reshaped Kyle from the inside.

‘’Oh my god, Kyle,’’ Stan breathed, holding onto him tightly as he felt their connection more than ever before.

‘’Still uncertain about your sexuality?’’ Kyle asked.

‘’I’m fucking gay as fucking hell,’’ Stan answered, pushing in deeper. Kyle laughed, then gasped.

‘’Oh shit, you’re so big,’’ Kyle gasped, his eyes wide and completely focused on Stan.

‘’Am I hurting you?’’ Stan asked, concerned and pausing his progress.

‘’No, it’s just a lot. More than I expected, but Jesus Stan. Why didn’t you take my virginity six years ago?’’

‘’Um, maybe because we’d have been only ten years old?’’ Stan chuckled, both gasping when his laughs made him bounce into Kyle.

‘’Do- do that again,’’ Kyle stuttered. Stan thrust slightly, rolling his hips in small bursts, and they both groaned.

‘’Oh god, fuck Stan. Fuck me now, I’ve had time to adjust. Fucking destroy me,’’ Kyle said, shaking into the bed as Stan leaned over him and kissed him softly. Kyle opened his mouth for Stan’s tongue and pulled his ass toward him, making Stan go deeper. Stan started fucking Kyle in shallow thrusts afterwards, both panting with their eyes locked on each other. Kyle groaned and panted up at the ceiling, taking in the sensation everyone in hell had gone on about. No wonder everyone was a gay slut down there. This was fucking amazing, and Kyle couldn’t imagine going without it for days, hours even, without this feeling only Stan could give him. 

Kyle was suddenly overwhelmed with strong inexplicable emotion towards Stan and tried to convey how important this was, how deeply Kyle felt for him in a breathtaking kiss. Stan moaned and picked up speed as they kissed with a desperate urgency. When Kyle released from Stan’s mouth, he looked at Stan with such an intensity despite the thrusts making him want to throw his head back and surrender himself to hickeys. He had to say this, it was like those moments where you must reveal everything or forever keep them secret, devouring your insides until you hollowed out. He wouldn’t waste his opportunity.

‘’Um, Stan?’’ Kyle mumbled, blushing but refusing to break eye contact.

‘’Yeah?’’ Stan asked, slowing down in pace again. Kyle’s mouth was open, full of words but terrified of saying them out loud. He didn’t think he’d be saying this yet, or even ever, but he can’t fake confidence this time, he must be honest with himself, and Stan.

‘’I think I love you,’’ Kyle whispered, barely pushing those words out, and praying Stan wouldn’t be one of those people who just thought this whole deal was just a sex thing, that it couldn’t mean anything deeper than getting off. Deep down he knew, that’s why he dared to reveal this vulnerable truth. Stan’s eyes went wide, and he gaped at Kyle, hovering above him, and never did Kyle feel more vulnerable, completely surrendered and pinned under Stan.

‘’I- I think I love you too,’’ Stan admitted, pressing his forehead to Kyle’s, still impossibly deep inside him that Kyle wanted to scream, but he couldn’t, because distantly he knew Stan’s parents might hear them, and Kyle loved him. So much that he’d settle with kissing Stan instead, burying his cries of pleasure in Stan’s mouth. They only lasted a little longer, Stan groaning as he came inside Kyle, jerking Kyle until he came too, whimpering with relief.

‘’I love you,’’ Kyle said again in the aftermath, Stan cuddled around him as he shook in recovery. Every time he said it, it made him want to say more, and the fact that Stan said it back made him want to devote himself to Satan for sending him to Stan in the first place.

‘’I didn’t think you’d like me like that. I thought you made this thing as a kind of service; you know to get off. I’m glad it’s not,’’ Stan said, sighing as he tugged Kyle closer to his chest in a warm embrace.

‘’I don’t know if that was the plan in the beginning or not. I’ll admit it was kind of dumb appearing and demanding you fuck me as soon as we meet. I hadn’t socialised with anyone for years inside that talisman,’’ Kyle said.

‘’I glad you did it though, because look at what happened. This is the happiest I’ve been since I was ten,’’ Stan said. Kyle smiled, a little sadly, because while Kyle was sitting in that stone, Stan was out here lonely and unhappy, both so lonely and wet for any kind of contact that they fucked the second night of meeting. The only concern Kyle had now was how quickly they proceeded into this, and sure Kyle went into it hard when he met Stan, but he thought it might be a good icebreaker, and give Stan the deal when he wanted it. Apparently immediately, if yesterday and a few minutes ago were any indication.

‘’So, I finally lost my virginity. I’m glad I can vouch for my gayness now, thank god,’’ Kyle said.

‘’Are you actually thanking god?’’

‘’I’m being ironic Stan, because I’m a demon, and I worship Satan,’’ Kyle said.

‘’That’s kind of awkward, because my family is catholic, and I go to church,’’ Stan said. Kyle chuckled, softly, not enough energy to whole-heartedly refute Stan’s worry.  
‘’I know, and it’s hot, that I- a demonic slave, managed to tempt you- A good little catholic boy, into having gay sex with me, making you a ‘deviant’ in the eyes of the lord. I’m proud of you for rejecting your religion like that.’’

‘’I- I didn’t reject my religion, I’m still a practising catholic!’’ Stan denied, sounding sincerely distressed with the possibility he wasn’t. ‘’Being gay isn’t that bad according to most other Christians. It’s just a minute few nowadays.’’

‘’But you happened to fuck a demon, that seems anti-Christian. That sounds like something Satanists would commend you for,’’ Kyle argued.

‘’Why are trying to make me feel bad that I love you?’’ Stan asked, upset. Kyle immediately felt bad for pushing, but it was good, now he knew this was a sensitive subject, and to avoid it from now on. He didn’t really worship Satan, but everyone in hell was in that religion, most forced into it, so Kyle didn’t really argue against it when pitched to him. The only clue he had from his past life in what he believed was that he was circumcised in his original body, which he discovered was typically done to Jewish boys. He didn’t want to speculate that he was Jewish in his past life, because it might be untrue, and it was terrifying that he knew something about a past apparently too traumatic to remember.

‘’I’m sorry, my love. Forgive your fucktoy?’’ Kyle asked, feigning seriousness.

‘’You’re not my fucktoy, you’re my boyfriend, or girlfriend depending on your current gender,’’ Stan corrected.

‘’You wanna fuck me as a girl next?’’ Kyle asked, turning over to look at Stan, his body calming into a pleasant puddle of warm.

‘’Kay. Can we do it with you having a dick,’’ Stan asked, and Kyle laughed, beaming at Stan, because it was appropriately ridiculous, and perfect.

‘’Just don’t decide you like the pussy more than my ass,’’ Kyle warned.

‘’I don’t think that’s possible dude. You felt like heaven, if I went there, it would feel like me fucking your ass, that’s how good it was.’’

‘’Good,’’ Kyle sighed, and wormed into Stan’s arms, more peaceful than he’d ever felt. Right now, was heaven, being fucked was otherworldly, but secretly he was looking forward to the aftermath, and hoped against everything that Stan would hold him close as he wound down from the blissful high. He truly believed everything Stan told him, revealed to him, when he tugged him and spooned mercilessly like Kyle belonged to him, truly belonged. That’s all he wanted, and Kyle was happy.


	6. Isn't that always the case?

Kenny walked home feeling morose, thinking about Kyle, and everything since the accident. He knew Stan had been massively depressed about it, even if he couldn’t remember why. Stan told him his therapists blamed it on Asperger’s, then alcoholism and treating what they thought was the cause. These pointless treatments and pill-popping only made Stan worse, only Kenny knew this, and only Kenny knew why. He felt like the universe fucked up again, for him, then for Kyle when no one could remember his death. Only difference was Kyle stayed dead, and only Kenny remembered him after everyone else, including Stan forgot.

He tried not to let these sad thoughts overtake him, because it wasn’t healthy, and he had enough for pondering pointlessly over stuff that he couldn’t change if he wanted to, he tried once, and it left him even more confused than before. Apparently, Stan was happier now, with this new girl, so Kenny couldn’t worry himself over Stan anymore, that was Kylie’s department. If they stayed together. Something about Kylie reminded him of Kyle, which ultimately led him to give his blessing for their relationship, because he’d seen Stan as happy as he was with Kyle as kids. That was the best result of this, so Kenny decided not to stick his head into their relationship, as baffling it was that a fox was chasing after Stan.

He went to bed early that night, considered jerking off, but ultimately decided against it, feeling too sad about all of this, how everything got played out. It was supposed to be him, it always was, but Kyle took the fall instead because the universe screwed up, so now they were living in the screwed-up world where things happened the wrong way.

**

Kenny was walking down the main street with Stan and Kyle, all of them laughing over some dumb adventure they went on the week earlier, all of them smiling wide and happy. It was days like these Kenny lived for, and best part was Cartman was sick at home, so no fights were had between him and Kyle. Stan and Kyle were bumping each other’s shoulders, dazedly glancing at each other, and secretly Kenny thought they were giving each other fuck me eyes. It made him happy, though embarrassed for them, because they would have to figure things out in their teenage years, make things pointlessly hard, just because they were Stan and Kyle, who complicated everything when it was all so simple to Kenny. Kenny loved this about them anyway and looked forward to watching awkward silences between them when they were obviously thinking they wanted to bone in the coming years. 

‘’Hey guys, weren’t we going to go to Starks pond for the afternoon?’’ Stan asked as they walked on the side path.

‘’We should get beer to drink down there,’’ Kenny suggested.

‘’Beer’s gross, and we can’t just walk into a liquor store and ask for a case, we’re only ten,’’ Kyle argued.

‘’We could just pay a homeless guy,’’ Stan suggested.

‘’Dude, why do you want beer? It tastes like shit,’’ Kyle said.

‘’I’m just saying it’s not impossible to get some that way, and what does it matter if it tastes like shit?’’

‘’Maybe because I don’t want to pay money for something that I don’t even like?’’ Kyle suggested. Kenny laughed.

‘’You two are like an old married couple. Get a room already,’’ Kenny chuckled.

‘’Fuck off Kenny!’’ Kyle yelled, going red. Kenny smirked at him, earning the middle finger from Kyle. Stan chuckled nervously.

‘’Anyway, so are we going to find a homeless person and- ‘’ Kenny was interrupted by a loud screech from the street, and when he turned to the road, a car was speeding down the street, twisting wildly. They barely had time to blink when a crash blindsided them, knocking him and Stan to the side and hitting Kyle. Kenny and Stan stumbled over to the front of the car, Kenny deaf with a buzzing in his ear. That’s when he saw the sight of blood, the green hat Kyle always wore thrown to the side with splatters of red across it. Stan started screaming, and that’s when Kenny blacked out.

A few days later was the funeral, and nearly everyone from town attended. Stan refused to talk to anybody, or even leave his room, so Kenny was by himself sitting next to Kyle’s parents and Ike, who insisted Kyle would want his friends with his family. Kenny knew they meant Stan, but the topic about how Stan was handling this was burnt out, so they didn’t bring it up at all. Kenny resolved to try talking to Stan through the door after the service, feeling guilty about this whole thing. Kenny was the one who died, who paid the price every time. That’s how things worked, and Kenny was okay with this arrangement, because he could save his friends from harm, and because he always returned, every time. Kenny was meant to be hit by that car, who was driven by an elderly man heading to country kitchen buffet. He was let off for murder, out of the reasoning that he was going to die soon anyway, so sending him to prison would only waste a cell that could be used for someone worse. Worse than a reckless driver who murdered a little boy.

Kenny was sitting in his seat while the service ran, his arms around Ike while Ike cried, Sheila and Gerald Broflovski quietly sniffling beside him, trying to maintain a sense of adult dignity. Kenny didn’t see why they had to do that, their first-born son died, that was as good a reason as any to cry unfiltered at a funeral. The service was held by some Jewish guy, Kenny didn’t understand what he was doing half the time, and suddenly felt annoyed by the whole thing. This procession was what Kyle’s parents wanted, Kyle wouldn’t want all this involved stuff, he was a non-denominational Jew. Kyle would’ve wanted Stan to be here, to talk about their insanely strong friendship, instead of this old guy with a freaking yamaka droning about the old times of the Hebrew faith, barely talking about Kyle himself. The kid certainly deserved it, and his life was anything if exciting and very involved in their small mountain town.

Kenny stood up, picked up Ike and dropped him in Sheila’s lap, both hugging in tears as Kenny walked away from the service. He couldn’t sit there helpless anymore, he felt so pathetic listening to some guy talk nonsense while Stan was probably hurting worse than even Kyle’s parents. Stan’s parents were at the funeral still, so Kenny invited himself into the empty house and went straight to Stan’s room, knowing Stan would still be in there.

He knocked quietly on the door, listening for any noise of crying. It was silent and dead.

‘’Stan, it’s Kenny. Can I come in?’’ Kenny asked through the door.

‘’Go away,’’ a small broken voice called.

‘’I just want to see how you’re doing; you know today was the funeral,’’ Kenny said. He was surprised Stan opened the door, and nearly cried himself when he saw how completely broken Stan looked. He was wearing the same clothes from the day of the accident, and it was sickening that there were some little blood spatters still on his shirt, from when he held Kyle’s lifeless body upon discovery of it after the crash. Stan’s eyes were crusty and red from crying, and he looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks with bags under his eyes. 

Stan’s eyes watered when he looked at Kenny.

‘’I know it was today. I don’t care, I lost my best friend in the whole world. I loved him Kenny, more than anything- and I just stood there while he got hit by a car. I should have saved him; I should have been the one to get hit. But I just let him die, and I couldn’t do anything about it,’’ Stan’s voice cracked, and he burst into tears, holding his face with his hands as he sobbed. Kenny hugged him and held him as he cried, starting to cry himself.

‘’I’m sorry Stan. It should have been me; it should have- oh god,’’ Kenny cried into Stan’s blood-spattered shirt.

‘’Kyle I’m sorry! I love you!’’ Stan wailed, holding Kenny tightly. 

‘’I’m going to make this right Stan. I promise, I’ll find a way- ‘’ Kenny paused when he realised something. Kyle was Jewish, and only Mormons went to heaven. That meant Kyle went to hell, and Kenny was a regular down there. He could see Kyle again, he could do something about this, maybe. Give Stan a piece of mind, maybe transfer a message. He kept thinking as Stan cried on him, trying to figure out the best way to kill himself that wouldn’t cause people anymore grief. That ruled out getting hit by a car at least.

When he left later, having placated Stan enough to shower and stop sobbing hysterically, he decided he would use the gun he kept with his Mysterion costume, and shoot himself in his room, away from anyone to cause a scene. The suicide would also seal his fate into hell, as he upon occasion landed himself in heaven for doing on a good deed, or when heaven needed his video gaming skills to save them against the forces of evil. He got home, and his parents hadn’t come home from the service yet, which was good in Kenny’s case, because they wouldn’t hear the gunshot, and hopefully wouldn’t enter his room long enough for him to return and them forget anyway. Hopefully it would only take a day to come back. He headed into his room and dug through his closet until he found the costume, and the gun in a sealed box beside it. He held the gun and got it over with immediately, pulling the trigger and watching himself fall to the ground. He thought about Stan as he fell, how heartbroken Stan was, even revealing his love. It could have been interpreted as brotherly, platonic love, but Kenny knew better. It made this mission even more important, because now he could tell Kyle, and get Kyle’s confession, deliver it back to Stan, and maybe he might heal faster knowing Kyle would want him to. Kenny drifted into peaceful sleep, darkness surrounding him like water until he was completely under.

Some people struggled at this point, Kenny had heard down in hell, people refused to submerge in the dark, instead thrashing and kicking as they fought for their lives when their bodies had already died, and these people ended up in purgatory, trapped in a state where they couldn’t finish their business, and couldn’t let go of it. Kenny never had that, he always accepted his death, knowing fighting would be pointless.

Kenny awoke down in hell, his skin burning from the heat, but no physical burns showing. That was the climate down here, always. He sat up and headed straight for the big house, where Satan resided. He had a close relationship with Satan, partly as his relationship counsellor, and the pesky little boy who kept dying and disappearing just when he got used to it down here. He grunted as he pushed open the huge stone doors of the entrance, and once he had enough room to squeeze through, he started running to the head office area, he always found Satan sitting at. He didn’t trust Stan with himself, alone in that depressing room. He was worried Stan might try something insanely stupid in his current mindset.

Kenny approached the doors heading into Satan’s head office and knocked first. God knows how many times he walked in on Satan banging it with a dead guy. A loud bellowing voice called out ‘’Enter.’’ Kenny walked in and sat down on the stone blocks facing Satan’s huge burning throne and desk. It was kind of comical that Satan had it set up like a bosses office at some corporate firm, but he would never say so. Satan regarded him with a burning glare that he’d been petrified of the first time he saw him, his piercing yellow eyes beaming into his soul.

‘’My child of darkness. What brings you here this time. I’m currently at a standstill with George, so you needn’t assist me with him,’’ Satan said, looking down at Kenny. Kenny pulled down his hood to talk.

‘’I was wondering if you could help me find a particular dead guy,’’ Kenny said.

‘’Of course, Kenneth, name that which you seek,’’ Satan thundered.

‘’Kyle Broflovski, he died 3 days ago,’’ Satan regarded Kenny with surprise.

‘’Oh, anyone but him,’’ Satan said more quietly. Kenny huffed in disbelief.

‘’Anyone but him? Why?’’ Kenny asked, getting flustered, but mostly confused. What the fuck was so special about Kyle that his soul couldn’t be retrieved to have a goddamn 5-minute conversation? Except being the lucky son of a bitch who fetched Stan’s heart right from fucking diapers.

‘’Um, you see child, usually when a soul is handed into heaven or hell, they are given the choice to stay dead and remain in that realm for eternity, or they can choose to relive with a divine purpose. In heaven they have angels, down here we have demons. Your friend Kyle chose the alternative option,’’ Satan explained.

‘’What, you’re saying that Kyle volunteered to be a demon?’’ Kenny asked, feeling pissed. The idiot just sealed himself into doom if he agreed to that obvious trick.

‘’Yeah,’’ Satan said.

‘’Kyle, you fucking moron!’’ Kenny yelled to himself, standing up in anger, wanting to throw something.

‘’So, what happens now? Where is he?’’ Kenny asked, turning back to Satan, who was uncomfortably sitting and looking at him.

‘’Um, since he chose the option of being an imp- ‘’ 

‘’Of course, he fucking did,’’ Kenny angrily interrupted. There were many paths to choose from when becoming a demon, Kenny had been shown the very first time he died, but he was too tender about the fact that he died to want a ‘divine’ purpose. You could be an imp, a flying demon that delivers the mail, a shit collector, literally fucking anything. 

Arguably the worst option is imp, only for their purpose, which is a slave. A sex slave, respectably.

‘’He was placed under an enchantment, which grants his powers but also places him under the bind of an object of power. I put him into a talisman, that shall be kept on hand in my collection until a mortal is given him as a reward for doing my bidding,’’ Satan explained.

‘’So, a mortal doing your bidding is likely a fucking lunatic Satanist with the intention of raping Kyle if they ever get their hands on him,’’ Kenny assumed.

‘’Probably accurate,’’ Satan agreed.

‘’And I can’t even see him?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’Well no, but even if you could, it would be pointless. Ritual to becoming an imp is you forget your past, as to not have any sexual hang-ups, so he wouldn’t remember you,’’ Satan said.

‘’Fucking Kyle- why’d you do this?’’ Kenny asked himself again, looking at the crisp stone floor. Deep down he knew, Kyle was desperate, didn’t want to die, to be away from Stan, so he probably assumed he could come back to life and see them again. He didn’t realise though that the owner of his talisman would probably end up being a fucked-up psycho with the intention of raping Kyle, keeping him locked up with only the intention of using him a semen collector, never letting him go see his friends, let alone see the light of day.

Kenny could stop that- maybe.

‘’Hey Satan, do you think you could do me a favour?’’ Kenny asked, regaining his cool.

‘’It depends on how big the favour is,’’ Satan answered.

‘’Do you think you could save Kyle from being sent off until someone good came along. Someone who wouldn’t rape him or hurt him. You can investigate their soul or something to make sure right?’’

‘’That kind of defeats the purpose of a sex slave, but I suppose I owe you, so I’ll keep Kyle for someone wholesome. I’ve got plenty of imps to spare anyway. You should know though, that most devil worshippers who earn this reward are male,’’ Satan warned.

‘’Right, I should’ve guessed that. Well good thing Kyle’s gay,’’ Kenny said. Kyle had never said so, but Kenny could always tell, especially the way he was around Stan.

‘’I like you dark one, you have gay friends,’’ Satan said

‘’Yep. Thanks for the favour Satan, give me a shout if you need help with George,’’ Kenny said, standing up and walking out of the room. He was one of few who had free reign in hell, mostly because he could leave, and torturing him had proven ineffective if they couldn’t tell him it was his life for eternity now, because it wasn’t and Kenny only had to wait for the tingles to make his body fade and return him to his bed, alive.

Walking out of the big house, Kenny realised he didn’t have anything to give Stan to make him feel better, and he’d be feeling worse now. The tingles started, and Kenny’s body began to fade. He sighed and let his body reform, taking him out of hell. He woke up seemingly immediately after, in his bed, the same bed he landed back in since forever.

Kenny went to see Stan that morning, trying to figure out what he could do to make Stan feel better. He doubted telling Stan that Kyle had traded his soul to be a sex slave would make him feel better or revealing that Kyle doesn’t even remember him now. No, he’d just have to be moral support while Stan worked himself out, and make sure Stan doesn’t bite the bullet or anything drastic. Kenny was shocked when he got to Stan’s house to find Stan out of his room, in the living room watching television, his face clean and free of tears, his clothes changed into clean ones. Kenny stood staring at him, even when Stan called out to him.

‘’Hey Kenny, where did you go yesterday?’’ Stan asked, turning to look at Kenny.

‘’I- uh, um nothing. Stan- are you okay?’’ Kenny asked, expecting Stan to be experiencing a stage of grief, maybe denial. He’s seen that happen, maybe Stan thought Kyle just went on holidays or something.

‘’Uh, yeah, I’m okay. I woke up with sore eyes but that’s about it. Why, what’s up?’’ Stan asked. Kenny was dumbfounded.

‘’Um the funeral was yesterday, and you missed it, and you were really upset,’’ Kenny said

‘’Whose funeral, I don’t remember being upset. I’m pretty sure I’d go to a funeral of someone I knew,’’ Stan said.

‘’Kyle’s funeral! And you didn’t go because- because…’’ Kenny stopped himself when he realised, Stan didn’t remember.

‘’Oh shit,’’ Kenny whispered, looking back at Stan.

‘’You don’t know who Kyle is- do you?’’ Kenny asked. Stan shook his head slowly, concernedly staring at Kenny, like something was wrong with him.

‘’Are you okay, Kenny?’’ Stan asked. Satan made everyone else forget about Kyle, along with Kyle himself. Only Kenny remembered because, he was dead or something? When Satan did the memory alterations on Kyle, he did the whole town too.

‘’Yeah- I’m okay, I think. Are you okay though? You don’t remember being upset about something.’’

‘’I’d say there’s always something to be upset about, but whatever.’’ Stan shrugged him off, but Kenny wasn’t convinced. All that mattered right now though was that Stan looked better than he had yesterday, which was honestly scary, but whatever. Only Kenny had to bear the burden of this knowledge now, and wasn’t that always the case?


	7. Revelations

Kenny walked by himself to the bus stop in the morning, trying to figure out what Kyle would look like now, and wondering if Satan found him a suitable owner yet. He hoped he did, only because he can’t imagine being trapped in a little rock for however long it’s been since Kyle died. Kenny was nearing the bus stop, when he saw that Kylie had arrived with Stan again and was waiting there, but upon inspection, as Kenny got closer to them, he realised it wasn’t Kylie, and his breath shortened when he recognised him.

Stan turned towards Kenny; his mouth open for an explanation, and Kenny fell on his ass when Kyle turned to look at him.

‘’Kenny, um, this is- ‘’

‘’Kyle,’’ Kenny whispered; his mouth stuck open. Stan retracted in surprise, shocked as Kenny stumbled back up on his feet.

‘’KYLE!’’ Kenny shouted, coming towards the confused boy quickly. Stan stopped Kenny from giving Kyle a bone-crushing hug, because what the fuck? Why was Kyle here? Alive, with Stan. Holy shit.

‘’Woah dude, what are you doing?’’ Stan asked, holding Kenny.

‘’What the fuck are you doing here, man?’’ Kenny asked Kyle, who looked utterly lost. Kyle had aged, he looked the same age as them, but had kept his signature look that Kenny immediately recognised. And holy fuck Kyle was wearing his ushanka- how did he even get it back, or remember he used to wear it? Then Kenny remembered his predicament.

‘’Stan, is Kyle yours?’’ Kenny asked, still looking at Kyle, realising many things, but so many things still unanswered.

‘’What do you mean yours? Kenny what the fuck is wrong with you, why are being crazy?’’ Stan asked. Kenny stepped back from Stan, smiling hugely now, because holy shit. Kyle was here, with Stan. Kenny knew the deal with imps.

‘’Is Kyle your imp?’’ Kenny clarified, deciding not to beat around the bush, no matter if it was supposed to be secret or whatever these sneaky fuckers decided. He was doing Satan a million favours now, for giving Stan a sex slave, that sex slave being Kyle. Well fucking done Satan. Stan gaped at Kenny, so did Kyle, and Kenny laughed, nearly did a fucking somersault because of how happy he suddenly felt.

‘’What are- how did you- ‘’ Stan stammered. 

‘’What are you talking about?’’ Kyle asked suspiciously, and Kenny laughed harder, because goddamn did he miss how much of a bad actor Kyle was.

‘’Jesus guys- I missed this so much. You have no idea. Fuck Kyle,’’ Kenny wiped tears from his eyes. This truly was a miracle, and Kenny didn’t anticipate how much he needed this to happen. Everything was okay now, because the three of them made fucking miracles happen together.

‘’How do you know my name?’’ Kyle incredulously asked, pointing at Kenny.

‘’I know you, that’s fucking why,’’ Kenny laughed. Kenny really needed to calm down, start talking more sensical, because Stan and Kyle were both confused, and probably getting angry now, but he couldn’t stop beaming, wanting to hug Stan and Kyle forever and never let go. He was aware he was being a creepy fuck, but he didn’t care right now.

‘’Sorry, I mean- I knew you before you died,’’ Kenny explained. Kyle’s eyes went wide, as did Stan’s and Kenny sighed.

‘’What- what are you talking about?’’ Kyle asked.

‘’Kyle, I know you can’t remember anything from before, but you lived here. You grew up here, you were one of my best friends,’’ Kenny smiled.

‘’What? You knew me?’’ Kyle asked, and Kenny nodded frantically, bouncing over himself in excitement.

‘’Hang on a sec- Kenny you know about all this stuff? About Kyle being an imp? How?’’ Stan asked. Kenny shrugged, not prepared to answer that question and get the same response from when they were ten. Stan stared curiously at Kenny, and he wished he could tell them everything, but he didn’t know how it would play out.

‘’Did I die here?’’ Kyle quietly asked. Kenny nodded gravely, remembering.

‘’You were hit by a car when you were ten,’’ Kenny said, flashing back to that moment, then shivering when he did. Kyle looked down, then at Stan with sad eyes. Stan opened his arms and gave Kyle a hug. Kenny watched them for a few moments, until Kyle released himself and looked back at Kenny with suspicion.

‘’Did Stan and I know each other too?’’ Kyle asked. Kenny grinned at them.

‘’You too were absolutely obsessed with each other, and Super Best Friends since forever,’’ Kenny said. Kyle and Stan looked at each other and smiled. Kenny almost visibly cooed at them.

‘’How did you know I’m an imp?’’ Kyle asked, looking back at Kenny.

‘’Oh shit, um, I asked Satan when you died,’’ Kenny answered, awkwardly. It was maybe worth a try, doing it again, since they were under different conditions. He was feeling giddy enough to give it another go.

‘’What- how did you do that?’’ Stan asked, curious.

‘’I killed myself,’’ Kenny answered. Maybe this time would work out better, and even if it didn’t- whatever. It won’t change anything anyway.

‘’What?’’ Stan asked.

‘’How is that possible? Are you an imp too?’’ Kyle asked.

‘’I don’t know what I am. I die, I come back to life, and nobody remembers it. That’s just the way it works for me,’’ Kenny shrugged, trying not to let his voice waver. ‘’But I did it when you died to find you in hell, because of you, Stan. You were absolutely devastated to the point I was worried you’d kill himself. I went down into hell and Satan said you agreed to become a freaking imp.’’

‘’I don’t remember that,’’ Kyle quietly said, kicking the snow beneath him.

‘’How come I can’t remember Kyle, or any of that happening?’’ Stan asked.

‘’The deal with becoming an imp means you forget your past, and apparently everyone else forgets you too. I don’t know, I was pretty pissed about that when I found out. When I found out that you volunteered to become a fucking sex slave Kyle, Jesus Christ.’’

‘’Well I don’t remember what was going on then, but I probably didn’t know that’s what being an imp entailed. I certainly do now anyway,’’ Kyle said, sliding a smirk at Stan. Kenny grinned at Stan, perfectly aware of what that meant. Something came to mind suddenly, and Kenny was very confused again.

‘’Wait- what about Kylie? What was that about?’’ Kenny asked Stan

‘’Oh, uh that was Kyle, as a chick,’’ Stan awkwardly admitted. Kenny looked at Kyle, who shrugged, smiling, and Kenny burst out laughing.

‘’No- no fucking way!’’ Kenny cackled, doubling over as he choked for breath. Kyle and Stan scowled at Kenny, and this felt so natural, Kenny was sad that he’d missed it so much since the accident.

‘’Okay- okay,’’ Kenny tried, lifting his hand at them to pause- even though they hadn’t done anything, trying to breathe. ‘’So, you’re telling me, yesterday, the hot girl all the boys were obsessed with, was Kyle? Pretending to be a girl? You’re fucking with me,’’ Kenny laughed.

‘’Hey, I distinctly remember you offering us a threesome,’’ Kyle pointed out, which made Kenny laugh harder.

‘’That’s too fucking good. Kyle, you devious bastard. You even had me convinced. No wonder you couldn’t take your eyes off Stan, I knew he didn’t have a chance with a real fox. Jesus Christ,’’ Kenny beamed.

‘’Hey, if I lived here, who were my parents?’’ Kyle asked, once Kenny calmed down somewhat. 

‘’Oh, um Sheila and Gerald Broflovski,’’ Kenny said.

‘’What! Really?’’ Stan asked, surprised. Kenny nodded.

‘’Wow, so my last name was Broflovski. Hey that’s jewish- was I jewish?’’ Kyle asked.

‘’Yeah dude, the only jew in south park. South Park hasn’t been the same without you dude. Holy shit Kyle, you’re actually here,’’ Kenny laughed, feeling high as a kite.

‘’I wish I remembered this place,’’ Kyle sadly said, looking around the snow, probably with new eyes. Stan hugged his shoulder and Kyle nestled into the touch, sighing.

‘’Are you guys fucking?’’ Kenny asked, blurting what popped into his head, looking at the two of them. Stan gaped at Kenny.

‘’Dude! That’s- what?’’ Stan stammered.

‘’Yeah,’’ Kyle said. Kenny grinned when Stan turned to him to gape. Kyle shrugged.

‘’Stan, he caught us making out yesterday. It’s not a fucking secret,’’ Kyle said.

‘’I fucking knew this would happen; you guys had sexual tension as young as 8 years old,’’ Kenny said.

‘’Whatever,’’ Stan grumbled, and Kyle kissed his cheek.

Kenny smiled, so happy for everything. Even if it started with Kyle dying, it was okay, because not even death could separate Stan and Kyle for long. The glorious fuckers cheated everyone if it meant they could be together. 

Kenny oddly thought about Butters at that moment, how the two of them might accomplish the happiness these two had managed, if they tried. Kenny liked to think he was good at hiding his feelings, but it was cute that Butters couldn’t, and apparently couldn’t resist splitting that news with Stan. Kenny had overheard that conversation they had that day, mostly chuckling that they spoke about it so publicly that Kenny could easily hide behind a corridor and hear every word. It was heart wrenching at first, because how could sweet innocent Butters fall for someone so obviously dirty, scarred and forgotten. After some investigation, he understood. His family were cruel, heartless monster that bullied him into submission and servitude. He admired people who stood up for themselves, and apparently, he saw that in Kenny. Kenny sometimes felt like he should put Butters in his pocket and hide him until adulthood, so save him some hardship. He still didn’t have the guts to pursue him anyway, because he didn’t want to ruin the last picture of innocence in this god forsaken town.

His hope was somewhat recaptured after this discovery this morning.


	8. How about that

‘’I can’t believe I’m actually from here!’’ Kyle said, looking out the window of the bus as it drove along the icy road heading to school. Stan was close enough for their arms and thighs to be touching, and he took Kyle’s hand closest to him and held it firmly. He could hardly believe it himself, and the idea that they were best friends before was very heartening, but the fact that Kyle actually DIED. Apparently, Stan saw Kyle DIE. The idea was kind of heartbreaking, and traumatising. He was glad he didn’t remember.

‘’I can’t believe Kenny recognised you,’’ Stan still shocked about that. He didn’t doubt Kenny knew him, his eyes were recognising, and he’d looked happier than he had in a long time. But it was shocking all the same.

‘’Here’s what I’m confused about though,’’ Kyle said suddenly, looking at Stan again. 

‘’How come no one else can? You don’t remember me, no one from town does. Probably not even my parents. Oh shit, my parents,’’ Kyle said suddenly, looking ahead with wide eyes.

‘’We can go see them if you want,’’ Stan offered. He was pretty surprised himself. The idea that Kyle had parents at all, but they were Sheila and Gerald Broflovski. Stan tried to pick traits they shared with Kyle, and came up pretty short. He could only pinpoint Sheila’s vibrant hair, but that was it. Maybe their temper, and Gerald was pretty smart too. So maybe a few things they had in common.

‘’I’m an imp though Stan!’’ Kyle said manically. Stan widened his eyes, glancing around to make sure people weren’t eavesdropping.‘’I’m not supposed to have relationships. I’m supposed to be your sex toy, and that’s it! I’ve already broken the rules with you, I can’t do it again. Who knows what’ll happen.’’

‘’When Satan gave me the talisman, I thought it was a reward, but I didn’t know what to do with it, so I just stuck it under my desk and stared at it every afternoon,’’ Stan admitted. 

‘’I know Stan, I was in the talisman, I could see everything,’’ Kyle said.

‘’Satan gave me you as a reward though. A gift, whatever it was. That means I can do what I want with you. Whether I fuck you, marry you or send you to visit your past parents. I can do that, right? It doesn’t breach the rules?’’ Stan asked. He didn’t know why this had to be a problem at all.

‘’I don’t know man. Satan didn’t inform us imps on what to do if we got sent to the same goddamn town we lived in before. This is uncharted stuff right here. I’m just scared supernatural forces are gonna rip you away from me, because we broke the biggest rules in the universe for being in love. It feels unallowed,’’ Kyle said, curling into himself.

‘’You’ll have to ask Satan about it then,‘’ Kenny said, eavesdropping, and turning over from the seat in front of them to face them.

‘’How the hell are we supposed to do that?’’ Stan asked. The only way he knew was praying to him, but it probably didn’t always work. If it had, satanists would have done it more by now.

‘’I’m not supposed to have contact with him after my soul is claimed by an owner. Stan is this case,’’ Kyle said.

‘’So neither of you have any way to talk to the devil? How did you even earn Kyle in the first place, Stan?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’Dude, remember freemium? My addiction demons? Satan came to me to help me understand them, and I let him borrow my soul to defeat beelzaboot,’’ Stan said.

‘’Shit- that’s right. I remember you being spat out from the depths of hell,‘’ Kenny said. ‘’You can’t do that again?’’

‘’I didn’t even know what was happening the first time. Satan infiltrated my body, I blacked out, when I woke up I was engulfed in flames and dropped back on the basketball court- with a talisman,’’ Stan said. ‘’I have no idea what to do now.’’

‘’I know who we need to talk to,‘’ Kenny said suddenly, seriously.

‘’Really, who?’’ Kyle asked.

‘’The goth kids,‘’ Kenny said, and Stan guffawed, thinking that as a joke. His eyes went wide when Kenny seemed to be legit.

‘’Are you serious? Those depressed assholes don’t know anything but how to be conformist to themselves and kill their lungs,’’ Stan said. He remembered joining them once, depressed about something he couldn’t remember, though with this new information it may have been Kyle. He soon after left their group when Butters seriously put him in his place.

‘’On the contrary, Stan. Those four might be the best chance in South Park we have in learning more about this,‘’ Kenny said. ‘’And maybe the cult of Cthulhu,‘’ Kenny added in an afterthought.

‘’You know them?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Dude, my sister had a goth phase when she was 7, I know they worship Satan,‘’ Kenny assured them.

‘’It’s worth a shot,’’ Kyle said. Stan huffed, not excited about the prospect of milking information out of those joy killers.

**

So they ended up finding the goths at the back of the school before class, hanging out near the dumpsters around the soccer fields. The three of them approached, and Stan bristled, hoping there wouldn’t be bad blood. They didn’t exactly end their ‘friendship’ on mutual terms. Stan may have also told them to go to hell. Pete looked up, first at Stan, then Kyle and Kenny.

‘’What?’’ Pete droned, sounding miserably dark. The others looked up, and frowned even more than there already were.

‘’Hey there Raven. How’s the festering pit of lies you call life?’’ Michael asked, dragging a drag of his cigarette. Pete flipped his hair out of his face. They all blew smoke from their cigarettes.

‘’Um fine. And you?’’ Stan asked, though he knew better than to ask that kind of question to them.

‘’We’re goth. How do you think we’re going?’’ Henrietta said, looking over Kyle and Kenny with distaste.

‘’Uh-okay, fair enough,’’ Stan said. Kyle bumped his shoulder, and Stan remembered what they were supposed to be doing here.

‘’What are you?’’ Henrietta asked Kyle, pointing at him with her pipe.

‘’Excuse me?’’ Kyle asked, widening his eyes.

‘’What- did Satan make you deaf? What are you?’’ Henrietta repeated louder. Kenny glanced at Stan, wearing an annoyingly smug smile Stan didn’t appreciate.

‘’What are you talking about?’’ Kyle asked, angry.

‘’Fucking ignorant people‘’ Michael muttered, shaking his head to the ground.

‘’What do you know about Satan?’’ Kenny asked, and Firkle spoke up, surprising them all.

‘’In the dark night of the seven suns, the angel of temptation will fall upon this realm once more to inflict pain and suffering to those who have worshipped the false lord, and bring an apocalypse that will last one thousand years, inflicting death and torment from the one’s left behind. Babies will live and die in the darkness, and once again the true lord will rise from the flames and ashes of his conquered souls, vindicated our lives and raising a new hell, where we will eternally suffer only to die and suffer once more in the seventh layer of his burning kingdom,’’ Firkle pronounced.

‘’Dude, that is hardcore,’’ Pete said.

‘“Super hardcore,’’ Michael agreed.

‘’It is true though, the dark night to begin the reign of the prince will arrive. What do you posers know about the prince of darkness?’’ Henrietta asked.

‘’Virtually nothing, really,’’ Stan said.

‘’These two know more than they’re saying,‘’ Henrietta said.

‘’What?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’We’ve studied the ancient texts, and collected charms in preparation for the dark night. I can see both of you, you aren’t from here,‘’ Henrietta said.

‘’You can see what I am?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’The blood of Cthulhu runs thick in your veins. I can see his powers flow through you. We all can- thanks to our dedication to the cult,‘’ Henrietta said.

‘’You actually know about me? Why am I like this then?’’ Kenny asked.

‘’Take it up with Satan, he knows the deal,’’ Henrietta said.

‘’That’s why we’re here. That mystical fucker doesn’t tell me anything. We need to find out about Kyle,’’ Kenny said, gesturing to him.

‘’Imp- who do you belong to?’’ She asked, peering at Kyle.

‘’Him,’’ Kyle said, pointing to Stan.

‘’Damn, Raven. We all knew you were truly a goth. Why’d you conform to the posers if you’re were still hardcore enough to serve Satan?’’ Michael asked.

‘’I’m not goth. It was an accident- okay. I didn’t purposefully do it- I was only 10 years old for gods sake,’’ Stan said, needing this to be cleared up. He didn’t serve Satan, and needed people to know that. He was still a Catholic.

‘’Only true goths get favours from Satan, Raven,’’ Pete said. Stan rolled his eyes, already fed up with these people.

‘’Whatever, i’m goth, fine. We need to know how to contact Satan, so we can learn more about Kyle’s- condition,’’ Stan said, wincing at the terminology. Kyle made a face at him for it.

‘’Have you tried a Seance?’’ Henrietta asked. They shook their heads.

‘’Well there you go. The internet shows you conformists how, so don’t fucking ask us to help,’’ she said, taking a drag and giving them all a long look above her smoke.

‘’Thank you guys, seriously,’’ Kenny said, bowing them off. They didn’t respond back, and the three of them walked away from the goths and into the school.

‘’Well, shit, how do you do a seance? And what the fuck is a seance?’’ Stan asked.

‘’If it’s anything like a suance, we’re in trouble and out 5000 bucks,’’ Kenny said.

‘’A seance is a ritual ceremony in an attempt to contact the dead, or I guess in our case, the prince of darkness. And technically the only daddy i’m supposed to have,’’ Kyle said, staring at Stan as though it was his fault he was conceived by a mortal man in South Park.

‘’What brainwashing shit did Satan give you dude? That’s just pure slutty,’’ Kenny said.

‘’I’m a fucking sex slave, what the hell did you expect, a freaking nun? By the way Stan, if you are onto that, let me know,’’ Kyle said, leaning back into Stan as they walked. Kenny laughed loudly, and Stan scowled. Kyle grinned and nuzzled Stan’s shoulder.

‘’Dude, people don’t know who you are. You’re just this new kid rubbing yourself on Stan to them,’’ Kenny pointed out. Stan realised he hadn’t even noticed, or cared that Kyle was being affectionate in front of the school to see.

‘’Was Kyle like this when he was alive?’’ Stan asked Kenny, remorseful he didn’t know himself.

‘’No fucking way was he anything like this. He was always a prude. It’s freaking me the fuck out, how loudly horny you are now, Kyle,’’ Kenny said, staring at them. Kyle ignored him, gluing himself to Stan’s side and teasing tiny touches on him as they walked through the halls.

‘’Whatever, you’re jealous you can’t score. Go seduce Butters if you want some, he’s begging for it,’’ Kyle said, turning back to Stan. He breathed out heavily, and Stan could feel his breath on his lip. It was at a certain point where he realised he would never have a relationship with Kyle that remained in the bedroom, that wouldn’t be shouted from rooftops, and he was okay with that.

‘’Will you fuckers shut up about Butters. Seriously,’’ Kenny groaned, turning away from them. Kyle grinned at Stan, both thinking the same thing, that Kenny was full of shit.  
They walked to their lockers, or just Stan’s, since Kyle wasn’t a real student, and Kenny apparently didn’t need to collect books from his. They were met with a very determined looking Cartman staring a Stan when he closed his locker again.

‘’Where’s the bitch?’’ Cartman asked, glancing around Stan and sneering when he saw Kyle frowning at him.

‘’What do you want?’’ Stan asked.

‘’Kylie, the bitch, where did you put her? I need to handle her like a man would,’’ Cartman said, moving his shoulder up straighter as though he had any muscles to show off. Kyle physically gagged from behind Stan.

‘’Kylie’s gone, she-‘’

‘’She moved back to denver, i’m her brother, Kyle,’’ Kyle introduced himself, narrowing his eyes at Cartman. 

‘’Yeah, whatever fag, I don’t care. I only care about speaking to Kylie,’’ Cartman said, as though she would magically pop up in front of him.

‘’Well drive to denver, fuckhead,’’ Kyle said curtly. Cartman scowled at Kyle, but thankfully seemed to get the message that she wasn’t showing up to pleasure him, as disgusting the thought was.

‘’Sick,’’ Kyle said, wrinkling his nose as they watched Cartman waddle away with his weight. Stan sighed, already exhausted by the extra effort.

‘’Why’d you have to be a girl yesterday? It could have been so much simpler,’’ Stan said as they walked away, Kenny tagging along with them.

‘’Why do i give myself a dick while sporting boobs, why do i watch you in a rock for years, why do i do anything? I don’t know, it’s just more fun. It gets fucking boring when you know your purpose is to bone, and having to wait hours and days in-between. Speaking of that, Stanley, I want to bone, so let’s go somewhere, unless you like exhibitionism, which in that case we can go right here,’’ Kyle said. Stan sputtered, still not completing used to his bluntness, as it turned out. 

‘’Jesus, don’t let my company deter you, why don’t you,’’ Kenny said. Suddenly Butters appeared in front of them, beaming at them, mostly Kenny, Stan noticed.

‘’High’a fellas, who’s your new friend?’’ Butters asked, smiling at Kyle.

‘’Um, this is Kyle. Kylie’s- brother. They’re twins,’’ Stan said, lamely. Butters seemed oblivious, giving Kyle’s hand a shake with a friendly grin.

‘’Well, welcome to South Park buddy! I hope you love it here,’’ Butters said. Kyle smiled back, but pinched Stan’s lower back as he responded. Stan swallowed a yelp of surprise, the bastard was trying to molest him right here.

‘’Thanks, Stan’s been great, showing me around. Kenny too, he’s so friendly to new kids,’’ Kyle said. Butters turned to Kenny and gave him a kind grin.

‘’Well that’s awful nice of you Ken. I was actually hoping you could help me out with something,’’ Butters said, blushing at him. He exchanged a glance with Stan, and Stan was surprised. Butters seemed to be going for it.

‘’Yeah, of course. What was it?’’ Kenny asked. Butters blushed harder, and Stan was glad the attention was off him and Kyle, though Kyle was now tracing a steady line down Stan’s hips to his thigh with his fingers, and Stan was trying hard to not to react.

‘’Uh, I um, was hoping to get your help over here,’’ Butters gestured to the down the hall, indicating to be alone. Kenny seemed to make the transition of understanding and nodded slowly.

‘’Uh, sure , yeah,’’ Kenny said, leading Butters lead them away. Stan cracked up as they walked away, at least until Kyle rubbed him down harder.

‘’Cut it out. This is a PG rated hallway,’’ Stan said, slapping Kyle’s hand away with a red face. Kyle grinned impishly, which was becoming his signature look.

‘’Stan, you’re just so edible. Let me lick you clean like an ice cream,’’ Kyle said, leaning up to Stan’s height. Stan flushed.

‘’Shouldn’t you be more concerned with learning more about yourself. Some heavy news was laid on us today,’’ Stan said. Kyle groaned.

‘’Yes, I want to know, but Stannn. I fucking need you,’’ Kyle said, moaning. Stan held him back from plundering his mouth, finding it harder to contain himself while Kyle went crazy with imp urges, is what they felt like. No way a normal human could be this constantly horny.

‘’Jesus, Kyle,’’ Stan said, but he didn’t offer any more as Kyle led him to a privater location, where kids weren’t milling about watching their every move. He knew they needed to start thinking about how to do this seance, whatever it was. He wanted to make Kyle better somehow, because his energy had been glowing significantly dimmer ever since he heard the news about this old life before he died. Stan could feel it.


	9. Needful Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is alot shorter than the others, sorry about that. I just need to get into the rhythm of updating, and I'll be able to pump out bigger chapters. Anyways, proceed...

It was struggling to believe everything that had happened in a matter of days, but Stan should’ve have been used to it. This kind of crazy shit had been happening his whole life. And even in his state of shock, for some reason he had no trouble remaining outwardly calm towards everyone, including Kyle, while he panicked and freaked the shit out inside.

He was also worried about Kyle, who although he’d always acted the same since they met that afternoon, Stan had this innate sense that he wasn’t actually okay, and somehow, the knowledge that his old life actually occurred here, and he couldn’t remember any of it, had taken a toll on him. He’d still avoided the subject of meeting his parents, even if they wouldn’t actually recognise him. Stan thought it would be important for him to get a sense of belonging- to someone other than Stan through a bargain, for him to actually feel safe and comfortable in his life, like one he would have lived if he hadn’t been hit by that car. Kyle hadn’t responded to the idea of introducing himself to them more than a disinterested grunt and a mention that they should go find somewhere to fuck. Stan humoured him, but still worried afterwards.

‘’So what else do you know about seances?’’ Stan asked, as he walked through the hallways to class. Kyle was currently sitting miniaturised on his shoulder, swinging his legs and throwing pretend fireballs at everyone who passed them. Stan made sure to appear indifferent, and spoke lower to make sure no one could hear.

_‘’Oh, lots of stuff. I’ve never actually done one, but I was given this knowledge in the talisman, in preparation. It’s like stuff Satanists would expect me to know, otherwise you know. I’d be like chained and whipped or some shit. But never mind that, I got you instead.’’_

‘’Jesus dude. Don’t talk about it like it’s only sheer luck you didn’t end up with a sicko,’’ Stan muttered, glancing over his other shoulder to make sure nobody was overhearing him ‘talk to himself’. Kyle tugged on a strand of his hair.

 _‘’It is though, I would’ve been sent off to some old dude who probably has sex with his sacrificed animals, and I would’ve been his eternal come bucket_ ,’’ Kyle said.

‘’Sick dude! Stop, I can’t hear about this,’’ Stan wrinkled his face. Kyle stood up in his miniaturised form, kissing Stan’s cheek, which felt like a tiny feather tickling him. Stan sighed, wondering if anybody would see him and think he’s mentally insane. Most definitely.

 _‘’Do I have to come to class in person? The work is really boring, the only way I survived yesterday was pissing you off by flirting with the other boys_ ,’’ Kyle said. Stan scowled, not appreciating the reminder.

‘’I still don’t forgive you for that,’’ Stan said. Kyle laughed.

‘’ _You’ve got a hell of a way of showing it. Taking me home and fucking me_ ,’’ Kyle said. It felt wrong hearing that, at Kyle’s current size, his little squeaky voice, but Stan was blushing regardless.

‘’I’m never gonna survive with you talking to me when no one can hear. People will have me committed,’’ Stan said.

‘’ _I can give you the answers on tests, and no one will know_ ,’’ Kyle said.

‘’That’s some world class evil villain thinking,’’ Stan sarcastically said.

 _‘’I’m not trying to take over the world here. Unless you want to, then I do to_ ’’

‘’I don’t like this. Why don’t you have any other aspirations? Other than like, getting in my pants all the time,’’ Stan asked. Kyle huffed, which felt like a shiver on his cheek.

‘ _’I’m not allowed to have goals. If I try and dream, I’ll be punished, because I can’t want any more than what you want me for. It’s easier to think within my job’s reach, purely sex, because If I don’t distract myself with it, I’ll go off the rails and start wanting real things, like I’m actually alive. But I’m not, I’m a demon, and I have to remember this. I died_ ,’’ Kyle explained. Stan didn’t know how he felt, other than heartbroken. Being reminded that Kyle used to be a human, his human, his best friend, was painful now. And now this was his existence.

‘’I want to get you back, as a real person. Not just this thing fulfilling a purpose,’’ Stan said, upset.

‘’ _Hey_ ,’’ Kyle said, leaping off his shoulder in a puff of smoke and appearing before him in real size. Stan stared at him with sad, wet eyes, and Kyle moaned. He kissed Stan on the lips, and Stan panicked, seeing people stare in the corner of his eye. Kyle noticed this, and smiled at Stan, clicking his fingers. As though nothing happened, everyone turned back to normal, looking away.

‘’You’re so awesome,’’ Stan said, his throat thick and tight. Kyle grinned, rubbing Stan’s arms.

‘’I just feel like fucking shit up and messing with people while you watch,’’ Kyle said.

‘’How would you do it this time?’’ Stan asked, glad for the distraction to their more painful reality.

‘’There’s another cool thing I can do, that I was saving,’’ Kyle said, his eyes lighting up. Stan perked up, wondering what the hell else Kyle could do.

‘’What?’’ Stan asked. Kyle stepped back, glowing and closing his eyes. The brightness blinded Stan, and he looked away. When he turned back as the glow dimmed out, he gasped and faltered back.

‘’Holy shit!’’ Stan exclaimed, boggling at himself. Kyle had turned into him, like a mirror, was him exactly, down to his height, his black hair, even his clothes. Stan- Kyle, grinned.

‘’It feels so hot to be you,’’ Kyle said, feeling his chest seductively, and Stan continued to stare in amazement.

‘’I can’t- even,’’ Stan stepped closer to himself, looking into his eyes, trying to spot any difference. It was very freaky, suddenly seeing himself outside of a mirror, staring back at him, with his face. Stan- Kyle, leaned forward and kissed Stan again, which may be the freakiest thing ever. And Stan’s been through freaky shit.

‘’We could even fuck as you. Basically fucking yourself,’’ Kyle said, making Stan’s jaw drop.

‘’I don’t think- I’d be ready for that. This is- surreal,’’ Stan said, out of lack of anything else to say.

‘’Yeah, I think the problem with that, is that I’d want to suck my own dick too much, because it’s just too beautiful,’’ Kyle grinned.

‘’You’re gonna destroy me, dude,’’ Stan said, relieved when Kyle changed back to himself, his standard human form at least. He clicked his fingers again, looking around as a precaution. ‘’It just seems too easy. I feel like it’s too good to be true,’’ Stan said. Kyle shrugged.

‘’You worship Satan, you’re gonna get rewarded. And cursed too, but I’d take that any day to keep being yours,’’ Kyle said.

‘’Goddamn. It’s only been a few days and it feels like it’s been months,’’ Stan said. His brain had processed so much that he’s beginning to realise that nothing will be normal. It never was, but at least things were staggered. This has all happened so quick, it’s hard to even believe he lost his virginity only yesterday. And already Kyle was suggesting fucked up shit like sex with himself, sort of. He really didn’t want to think about it.

The more Stan thought about his current situation, the more uneasy he felt, and consequently, the more he needed to know about this séance that could apparently answer questions they had. Kyle ignored all of his prompts regarding doing it, which only made him more on edge about it, because why was Kyle so afraid? Was he hiding something from him?

It felt impossible to know, because Stan couldn’t very well command him to spill his guts, regardless of what their bind said. That’s what he wanted most, for that stupid decree by Satan that Kyle was Stan’s sex slave to be gone from them. He wanted Kyle, but he wanted Kyle back- his Kyle, his best friend. Regardless of whether he actually remembered him. He didn’t need to, because he felt it when he saw him, that familiarity. Kenny confirming it only meant connecting jigsaw pieces that were starting to connect by themselves anyway the longer they stayed together.

So Stan made it his mission to learn more about this, whatever it took. And maybe, hopefully, he could bring Kyle back, as a human, like he was before, and their lives could go back to normal. He felt like Kyle needed this as much as him.

He needed his best friend back.

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow me if you choose :3](https://www.instagram.com/lozislaw/)


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